Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 30th September 2011, 05:19
Hello~ I'm Lillie. So you wanna be critic-ed? I have been singing for nearly 10 years and have the music knowledge to match. I don't have perfect pitch but I have a good ear so I can help you with your harmonies~ I am fluent in English, Mandarin and Cantonese but I also know the pronunciations of Japanese and Korean.
Ok! Maximum of 2 clips per person per post! Please only post once after every 10 member submissions~ give other people a chance to be critic-ed~
Song challenge: CHINESE: Fahrenheit songs Rainie Yang songs FAMA songs Fish Leong songs Show Luo songs Joey Yung songs
늘 똑같은 하늘에 늘 같은 하루 neul ttokgateun haneure neul gateun harutoo soft and need deeper breath support, wobbly pitch on the really low notes - take deeper breaths using your diaphragm, you could also raise the key of the song by 2 more so that it is easier to sing the low notes 그대가 없는 것 말고는 달라진 게 없는데 geudaega eomneun geot malgoneun dallajin ge eomneunde - see above 난 웃고만 싶은데 다 잊은 듯이 nan utgoman sipeunde da ijeun deusi 아무일 아는 듯 그렇게 amuil aneun deut geureoke 웃으면 살고픈데 useumyeon salgopeunde -> a mixing trick: raise the volume of your low notes so that they don't get so drowned in the instumental
그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서 geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo 매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요 maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo 보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서 bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo 이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요 ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo 오늘도 oneuldo
난 보낸줄 알았죠 다 남김없이 nan bonaenjul aratjyo da namgimeobsi - same thing as above - some notes disappeared into the instrumental 아니죠 아니죠 난 아직 그대를 못 보냈죠 anijyo anijyo nan ajik geudaereul mot bonaetjyo 그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo 매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요 maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo 보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서 bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo 이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요 ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo 오늘도 oneuldo
하루하루가 죽을 것만 같은 어떻게 해야 해요 haruharuga jugeul geotman gateun eotteoke haeya haeyo - more feeling! Everyday, everyday, it feels like I’m gonna die, what should I do? It's up to your interpretation - you could sing this sadly or "sad-angrily"
사랑해 사랑해요 그대를 사랑해요 saranghae saranghaeyo geudaereul saranghaeyo 말조차 못하고서 그대를 그렇게 보냈네요 maljocha motagoseo geudaereul geureoke bonaenneyo 미안해 미안해요 내말이 들리나요 mianhae mianhaeyo naemari deullinayo 뒤늣은 내 고백을 그댄 들을 수 있을까요 dwineuseun nae gobaegeul geudaen deureul su isseulkkayo 사랑해요 saranghaeyo - more control needed for vibrato here - your vibrato is too fast at the ends of phrases and sometimes uneven - a slower vibrato would suit this song better. you can practice vibrato by singing between semitones slowly to get them even and controlled -your vibratos at the ends of phrases could also be held longer and kept louder for longer, they reduce in volume too quickly
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xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 30th September 2011, 12:40
Wanna stick with you Ma lover girl I know u feel me c'mon yeah 1 2 3 4 I Can't wait girl A B C D Baby call me
내 맘을 흔들어 ne mameul heundeuro 나를 설레이게 만들어 nareul solleige mandeuro 내 말은 다 들어 참 고마워 baby ne mareun da deuro cham gomawo baby - harmony a bit too loud
볼수록 정들어 웃을땐 넘 귀여워 I love you bolsurok jongdeuro useultten nom gwiyowo I love you - same thing as above
I just wanna C U lover boy (lover girl) - you pitched it lower 괜시리 웃음이 나 gwensiri useumi na - sounds really nasal: open your throat more - this way you'll also get more projection and dynamics I just wanna call U lover boy (call me) 지금 널 듣고싶어 jigeum nol deutgosipo
hey baby call me now
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo 내 맘을 어쩌면 좋아 ne mameur-ojjomyon joa 내 맘도 같은걸 ne mamdo gateun-gol 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이런게 사랑이래 (This is the love) iron-ge sarangire (This is the love)
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 ojjomyon joa ne mameul 천천히 한발 두발 내게 와줘 chonchonhi hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo
세상이 눈 부셔 sesangi nun busyo 니가 있어 매일 숨을 쉬어 niga isso meil sumeul swio 이런 내 emotion 다 좋은걸 baby iron ne emotion da joheun-gol baby
내 키에 눈 맞춰 ne kie nun matchwo 살며시 넌 입을 맞춰 I love you salmyosi non ibeul matchwo I love you
I just wanna C U lover boy (lover girl) 언제든 달려와줘 run to you baby onjedeun dallyowajyo run to you baby I just wanna call u lover boy (call me) 사랑을 속삭여줘 sarangeul soksagyojwo
hey baby call me now
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo 내 맘을 어쩌면 좋아 ne mameur-ojjomyon joa 내 맘도 같은걸 ne mamdo gateun-gol 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이런게 사랑이래 This is the love iron-ge sarangire This is the love - wobbly pitch
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 천천히 ojjomyon joa ne mameul chonchonhi 한발 두발 내게 와줘 hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo
OK
이 느낌이 영원히 변하지 않게 i neukkimi yongwonhi byonhaji anke 내가 더 잘할게 nega do jarhalge 내가 더 아낄게 우리 사랑을 nega do akkilge uri sarangeul
hey Sweety ma lovely baby 또 보고싶어 ASAP tto bogosipo ASAP 무슨짓을 해도 다 이뻐 museunjiseul hedo da ippo 스티커 처럼 딱 붙어 있고싶어 seutiko chorom ttak buto itgosipo 같이 있자 조금만 더 gachi itja jogeumman do 마지막으로 오분만 더 majimageuro obunman do 행복만 행복만 행복만 줄게 hengbongman hengbongman hengbongman julge Yo ma lover girl
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo - same harmony problems as above. I feel you lover girl stick with me baby 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이렇게 널 사랑해 This is the love iroke nol saranghe This is the love - harmonies out of tune
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 ojjomyon joa ne mameul 천천히 한발 두발 내게 와줘 chonchonhi hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo - many harmonies out of tune - harmonies were always a bit too loud and stole attention away from the main vocal line - low notes got lost in the instrumental - too much effects used
[DongWoo] aju orae jeon neoreul boatdeon Geu neukkimeul gieokhe nan [Myung Soo (L)] neoreul alatdeon nareul alatdeon Geu shijeoli saenggakna [HoYa] neoreul dalmgo shipdeon eouligo shipdeon Ganjeolhaesdeon shiganeul Nan dashi saenggakhae [Sung Jong] da jinagan hannat chueok bboningeol
And, Can you smile? - smile smile smile -you pitched it lower [Woohyun] niga weonhajana Niga barajanha Nae mam maneuroneun Neol jabeul suga obtneungabwa And, Can you smile? [Sunggyu] nega galajanha Nan gwenchanhdajeonha Majimak neoege Nan igeot bakken mot junabwa
And, Can you smile? [Woohyun] niga weonhajana Niga barajanha Nae mam maneuroneun Neol jabeul suga obtneungabwa And, Can you smile? [Sunggyu] nega galajanha Nan gwenchanhdajeonha Majimak neoege Nan igeot bakken mot junabwa
Rap: [DongWoo] geure binbeonhaejin Ni geu mal dabdabhaesseo byeonhaejin Ne maltuwa hengdongee Halmal obtge mandeundago Hwaman nage dodgundago Ttoadaemyeo gyeokhaejin Bam haneule [Hoya]Byeoli balghyeojwissji Dali bichyeojwissji Hanshi gal gil gatji Byeoldeulgwa bami onda Dareun byeole gareojil bbun The moon always stay there I'll always be here for you want you
And, Can you smile? [SungKyu] neol jabgo shipjiman Butjabgo shipjiman Ne gyeote isseoseo Neon uteumeul ilheogajanha And, Can you smile? [WooHyun] naega garajanha Nan gwenchanhdajanha Ne gyeoteul ddeonaya Neon hengbokhal su isseunikka - instrumental a little bit too loud - open your throat more when you belt high notes: you'll get less nasally notes (squashed vowels) and more control of dynamics - more phrasing could have been used in the last chorus
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Hyuriko LTS Raindrop
Number of posts : 419 Age : 31 Location : France , Montbéliard Registration date : 2011-04-17
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 30th September 2011, 15:37
Hi lily :D ! Can i submit your critic please :3 ? What song is it ? Ai no uta Artist ? Fukui mai Very honet for the 2 video ;)
Wanna stick with you Ma lover girl I know u feel me c'mon yeah 1 2 3 4 I Can't wait girl A B C D Baby call me
내 맘을 흔들어 ne mameul heundeuro 나를 설레이게 만들어 nareul solleige mandeuro 내 말은 다 들어 참 고마워 baby ne mareun da deuro cham gomawo baby - harmony a bit too loud
볼수록 정들어 웃을땐 넘 귀여워 I love you bolsurok jongdeuro useultten nom gwiyowo I love you - same thing as above
I just wanna C U lover boy (lover girl) - you pitched it lower 괜시리 웃음이 나 gwensiri useumi na - sounds really nasal: open your throat more - this way you'll also get more projection and dynamics I just wanna call U lover boy (call me) 지금 널 듣고싶어 jigeum nol deutgosipo
hey baby call me now
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo 내 맘을 어쩌면 좋아 ne mameur-ojjomyon joa 내 맘도 같은걸 ne mamdo gateun-gol 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이런게 사랑이래 (This is the love) iron-ge sarangire (This is the love)
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 ojjomyon joa ne mameul 천천히 한발 두발 내게 와줘 chonchonhi hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo
세상이 눈 부셔 sesangi nun busyo 니가 있어 매일 숨을 쉬어 niga isso meil sumeul swio 이런 내 emotion 다 좋은걸 baby iron ne emotion da joheun-gol baby
내 키에 눈 맞춰 ne kie nun matchwo 살며시 넌 입을 맞춰 I love you salmyosi non ibeul matchwo I love you
I just wanna C U lover boy (lover girl) 언제든 달려와줘 run to you baby onjedeun dallyowajyo run to you baby I just wanna call u lover boy (call me) 사랑을 속삭여줘 sarangeul soksagyojwo
hey baby call me now
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo 내 맘을 어쩌면 좋아 ne mameur-ojjomyon joa 내 맘도 같은걸 ne mamdo gateun-gol 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이런게 사랑이래 This is the love iron-ge sarangire This is the love - wobbly pitch
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 천천히 ojjomyon joa ne mameul chonchonhi 한발 두발 내게 와줘 hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo
OK
이 느낌이 영원히 변하지 않게 i neukkimi yongwonhi byonhaji anke 내가 더 잘할게 nega do jarhalge 내가 더 아낄게 우리 사랑을 nega do akkilge uri sarangeul
hey Sweety ma lovely baby 또 보고싶어 ASAP tto bogosipo ASAP 무슨짓을 해도 다 이뻐 museunjiseul hedo da ippo 스티커 처럼 딱 붙어 있고싶어 seutiko chorom ttak buto itgosipo 같이 있자 조금만 더 gachi itja jogeumman do 마지막으로 오분만 더 majimageuro obunman do 행복만 행복만 행복만 줄게 hengbongman hengbongman hengbongman julge Yo ma lover girl
금방 같이 있어 놓고 또 보고싶어 geumbang gachi isso noko tto bogosipo - same harmony problems as above. I feel you lover girl stick with me baby 눈을 뜨자마자 니가 또 보고싶어 nuneul tteujamaja niga tto bogosipo 이렇게 널 사랑해 This is the love iroke nol saranghe This is the love - harmonies out of tune
가슴이 두근 두근 두근 떨려 gaseumi dugeun dugeun dugeun ttollyo 자꾸자꾸 니가 끌려 jakkujakku niga kkeullyo 어쩌면 좋아 내 맘을 ojjomyon joa ne mameul 천천히 한발 두발 내게 와줘 chonchonhi hanbal dubal nege wajwo 스리슬쩍 나를 안아줘 seuriseuljjok nareul anajwo 하루종일 나와 있어줘 harujongil nawa issojwo - many harmonies out of tune - harmonies were always a bit too loud and stole attention away from the main vocal line - low notes got lost in the instrumental - too much effects used
[DongWoo] aju orae jeon neoreul boatdeon Geu neukkimeul gieokhe nan [Myung Soo (L)] neoreul alatdeon nareul alatdeon Geu shijeoli saenggakna [HoYa] neoreul dalmgo shipdeon eouligo shipdeon Ganjeolhaesdeon shiganeul Nan dashi saenggakhae [Sung Jong] da jinagan hannat chueok bboningeol
And, Can you smile? - smile smile smile -you pitched it lower [Woohyun] niga weonhajana Niga barajanha Nae mam maneuroneun Neol jabeul suga obtneungabwa And, Can you smile? [Sunggyu] nega galajanha Nan gwenchanhdajeonha Majimak neoege Nan igeot bakken mot junabwa
And, Can you smile? [Woohyun] niga weonhajana Niga barajanha Nae mam maneuroneun Neol jabeul suga obtneungabwa And, Can you smile? [Sunggyu] nega galajanha Nan gwenchanhdajeonha Majimak neoege Nan igeot bakken mot junabwa
Rap: [DongWoo] geure binbeonhaejin Ni geu mal dabdabhaesseo byeonhaejin Ne maltuwa hengdongee Halmal obtge mandeundago Hwaman nage dodgundago Ttoadaemyeo gyeokhaejin Bam haneule [Hoya]Byeoli balghyeojwissji Dali bichyeojwissji Hanshi gal gil gatji Byeoldeulgwa bami onda Dareun byeole gareojil bbun The moon always stay there I'll always be here for you want you
And, Can you smile? [SungKyu] neol jabgo shipjiman Butjabgo shipjiman Ne gyeote isseoseo Neon uteumeul ilheogajanha And, Can you smile? [WooHyun] naega garajanha Nan gwenchanhdajanha Ne gyeoteul ddeonaya Neon hengbokhal su isseunikka - instrumental a little bit too loud - open your throat more when you belt high notes: you'll get less nasally notes (squashed vowels) and more control of dynamics - more phrasing could have been used in the last chorus
80%
thankyou so much!! :D
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 1st October 2011, 08:43
Hyuriko wrote:
What song is it ? Ai no uta Artist ? Fukui mai Lyrics here
Spoiler:
Yasashii kaze ga fuku itsumo no michi de Anata ni aeru to ka sonna koto de ii Chiisana kodou no yure ga omoi ni kasanari Shizuka ni tokeru no wo tada matteiru Hito wa doushite kotae wo motomeru no ? Watashi wa kore de shiawase nano ni shiawase nano ni
Ai no uta ga kikoetanda Sore wa chiisana ai ga Hohoemu you ni yori sou you na Yasashii oto ga shita Toki wa nagare yume wa nagare Iron na katachi kawattemo Anata ga tada koko ni ireba soredake de ii - you are singing in the wrong key: you should be singing higher. If you cannot sing the original key you should pitch the song lower so that it is comfortable for you to sing. - within the key that you are singing in, you have flat notes: take deeper breaths to support your pitch
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Hyuriko wrote:
What song is it ? God knows Artist ? Aya Hirano Lyrics here
Spoiler:
Kawaita kokoro de kakenukeru Gomen ne nani mo dekinakute Itami wo wakachiau koto sae Anata wa yurushite kurenai - wobbly pitch: take a deeper breath to support pitch
Muku ni ikiru tame ni furimukazu Senaka mukete satteshimau On the lonely rail
Watashi tsuiteiku yo Donna tsurai sekai no yami no naka de sae Kitto anata wa kagayaite Koeru mirai no hate Yowasa yue ni tamashii kowasarenu you ni My wish kanaetai noni - stumbled on pronunciation, maybe because you changed the lyrics here to complete the song and the original instrumental confuses you Subete wa God knows... - you changed the melody but it fits with the key - take a bigger breath so that you don't cut phrases in half or cut notes short. you shouldn't need to take a breath in the middle of a sentence. - slight wobbly pitch at multiple parts - more dynamics and emotion could be added: "i will follow you!" - you sound tired
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Mihn LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 1080 Age : 36 Registration date : 2011-07-28
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 6th October 2011, 03:54
Song: Pray Artist: Sunny Hill Link to lyrics:
Spoiler:
[Hyora] Save me from broken time [Mihn] lalala lalala lalala lalala.
[Nara] Stand by me in misery jeomjeom gipeomanga neoreul arheulsurok [Mihn] lalala lalala lalala lalala [Hyora] Cry for me and i'm so sorry jeomjeom paeyeomanga neoreul irheulsurok [Mihn] jebal dasi anadallago
[Mihn] Stand by me in misery jeomjeom gipeomanga neoreul arheulsurok [Hyora] lalala lalala lalala lalala [Yuln] Cry for me and i'm so sorry jeomjeom paeyeomanga neoreul irheulsurok [Hyora] jebal dasi anadallago
[Nara] Stand by me in misery jeomjeom gipeomanga neoreul arheulsurok [Mihn] lalala lalala lalala lalala [Hyora] Cry for me and i'm so sorry jeomjeom paeyeomanga neoreul irheulsurok [Mihn] jebal dasi anadallago
[Mihn] Stand by me in misery jeomjeom gipeomanga neoreul arheulsurok [Hyora] lalala lalala lalala lalala [Yuln] Cry for me and i'm so sorry jeomjeom paeyeomanga neoreul irheulsurok [Hyora] jebal dasi anadallago
[Yuln](Nara) ganjeolhi nan gidohane listen to the song (listen to the song) daedabeun tto nareul ulline~~
[All] naraganeun nareul jabajwo naraganeun uril dollyeonwa [Hyora](Nara) tteodanimyeo (tteodanimyeo) japhiji anha neoreul butjapji motae [All](Nara) haruman deo saraboryeogo kkaemureotdeon naui ipsureul [Hyora](Yuln) sarajyeoga (sarajyeoga) ijeneun ani ani ani aniya.
[Nara] Save me from broken time [Mihn] lalala lalala lalala lalala
Collab ^^ Honest grade of over all collab as well as mixing plz :D
Spoiler:
Nice vocals, couldn't pick out any wrong pitches. - but, there wasn't much phrasing used to shape the song to give it more emotion.So,, more emotion! Sing the important bits louder to emphasise the meaning. Adlibs should be full of emotion! Technique-wise, singing with vibrato would give shape and make the song sound more 'delicate' - vibrato is great for ballads.
Mixing wise: just a tad too much echo in the first verses, some of the voices were Eq-ed too far back when they could have been closer and the volume could have been brought up for the ends of phrases - some of the long notes disappeared a bit fast.
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Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 12th October 2011, 03:45
oh i have a song on ur challenge list >_<
Critic Form: Song: On The Line Artist: Demi Lovato Link to lyrics: click
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 16th October 2011, 04:45
shakyshakeeeee wrote:
oh i have a song on ur challenge list >_< Critic Form: Song: On The Line Artist: Demi Lovato Link to lyrics: click
Spoiler:
Diction problem - your words were slurred in a lot of places, you need to pay more attention to the pronunciation of words especially the ends of words Your high notes sounded strained - lost the fullness of your voice. Either pitch the song lower or sing with more open relaxed vocals. Small timing issues. 90%
Hara LTS Raindrop
Number of posts : 2599 Age : 27 Registration date : 2010-07-27
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 16th October 2011, 05:18
Lilliee~ Hara's turn ^^ ps-i'm having fun with our poke war on fb kekeke
I just wanna tell you How I’ll love you so (for all my life) I just wanna tell you Oh I’ll miss you so But now it’s time to go
How I, searched for sunrise You were, always by my side We will, be forever Lovers in the sky
I’m put together By your love forever Just wanna let you Take me to the place I know I’ll be alright with you.
Torn Apart, but never Say goodbye Oh never Go on and tell me I just wanna hold you, won’t be Without you Without you Without you
Taking time to breathe now How far along we’ve come (and I know) Time will tell its reasons Now it’s time to go Think you should know
How I, searched for sunrise You were, always by my side We will, be forever Lovers in the sky
I’m put together By your love forever Just wanna let you Take me to the place I know I’ll be alright with you.
Torn Apart, but never Say goodbye Oh never Go on and tell me I just wanna hold you, won’t be without you
So many things I want to say to you I love you so Oh yea~
I’m put together By your love forever Just wanna let you Take me to the place I know I’ll be alright Take me to the place I know I’ll be alright with you
I’m put together say good bye you never go on and tell me I just wanna hold you, wanna be alright with you Be alright With you Be alright With you Be alright with you Shaky pitch(underlined parts) - some flat, some sharp. Take deeper breaths to push the flat notes harder but control(practice and more practice) that pushing so that it doesn't become sharp. Timing problems are more obvious because you are singing along with the original song and have no room for free-styling, but it will sound better if you follow the timing of the original singer if you sing over the top of the original. Also, because you are singing along with the original, try to time your slurred notes/note changes to the original - it sounds out of tune if you hold the note too long because the next note clashes with it (this won't be a problem when you sing with an instrumental) 80%
autotune - turned all the way up? Some flat notes here and there - either the effect didn't alter those notes well enough or you were flat. Most obvious on high notes and Yeol rin mu ni ya mu ni ya. The last line is also flat. Timing is also a problem here but less serious than the first song you posted. 80%
hehe poke war is fun~ :D
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 16th October 2011, 11:08
Lillie 0_0""" time to close this temp
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 16th October 2011, 11:36
Panda_Lulu wrote:
Lillie 0_0""" time to close this temp
Ok la~ I'll put my hiatus dates up too!
PiggyMelody Retired
Number of posts : 1116 Age : 24 Location : California Registration date : 2011-01-06
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 24th November 2011, 04:27
The instrumental is only heard on the left - audacity: duplicate this mp3 and set the 2nd one with right placement so that it 'completes' the instrumental. flat notes - take deeper breaths (breath with a mouth shape like "^O^" not "^A^") to support your notes, this will also help your runs. Try to sing with your chest voice(talking voice) instead of your head voice so that you can hit your notes stronger - it will be easier to control your pitches too More dynamics could have been added Watch out for tempo/timing - sometimes you're faster and sometimes you're slower. Practice the song more or if it has tricky entries, tap your foot/hand along with the beat of the song (or sway/bob head/move to the beat)
70%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 26th November 2011, 01:18
Rie wrote:
Song: The Boys and Step Artist: SNSD and KARA
Spoiler:
Some of the harmony lines at the start don't work together well to create a nice blend. Flat notes here and there. Soft notes are lost in the instrumental. Your run at 3mins could have been executed better/smoother High notes were pitchy around 3:20 - try using mix voice to have a better control of pitch and better tone
80%
Spoiler:
Instrumental a little too loud Flat notes - take deeper breaths to support notes
90%
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 26th November 2011, 04:12
please critic my duet, but critic my parts ^^
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 26th November 2011, 04:43
intoxicatexme wrote:
please critic my duet, but critic my parts ^^
Spoiler:
Timing/tempo seems to a problem (e.g eh, eh, eh) - sometimes you're ahead of the music and sometimes your behind the music. You can tap your feet/hand or sway to the beat to stay in time with the song. Pitch problems (e.g. high notes: sharp, long note at 2:32 is flat) - take deeper breaths to support/control your notes better More dynamics/phrasing could have been added (e.g. 1:50 could have been softer)
75%
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 26th November 2011, 10:09
xxlillie wrote:
intoxicatexme wrote:
please critic my duet, but critic my parts ^^
Spoiler:
Timing/tempo seems to a problem (e.g eh, eh, eh) - sometimes you're ahead of the music and sometimes your behind the music. You can tap your feet/hand or sway to the beat to stay in time with the song. Pitch problems (e.g. high notes: sharp, long note at 2:32 is flat) - take deeper breaths to support/control your notes better More dynamics/phrasing could have been added (e.g. 1:50 could have been softer)
75%
thank you ^^ ill try and improve using your advicee.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 26th November 2011, 11:08
oo~ i saw your list of challenges, so I decided to do one:
you don't have to critic it so fast since I only just posted one up recently.
abydaaRaina LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 278 Age : 30 Location : Singapore Registration date : 2011-11-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th November 2011, 12:33
Please criticize my singing...I thought of joining the competition with this song but I dont think it sounded good...I just enjoy singing,but I have no knowledge of it ^^ Please criticize as harsh as possible,I want only honest thoughts...But please tell me how to improve too...Please criticize on my singing only,because this is a duet cover...Bold are my solos and underlined are sung together...Thanks~ ^^ You are much loved~ <3
Spoiler:
"Because Of You"
I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, You fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid
I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid
I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty Because of you I am afraid
Because of you Ho~ Because of you Ho~
Liza LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 182 Age : 29 Location : France Registration date : 2011-07-04
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 28th November 2011, 18:49
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 3rd December 2011, 00:05
Hello, can you criticize my singing, please? Be honest and tell me how to improve. Thanks!
Critic Form: Song: 聽你說 Artist: 郁可唯 & 林凡 Link to lyrics: Click
I'm singing 林凡's part (Blue), my harmonies sucks here and I am really not good at it. Can you give me some tips?
Critic Form: Song: 妳 Artist: 田馥甄 Link to lyrics: Click
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 14th December 2011, 12:06
Could you please comment on this cover please??
Thank you~ *bow*
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th January 2012, 02:49
Closing this~
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th January 2012, 02:58
abydaaRaina wrote:
Please criticize my singing...I thought of joining the competition with this song but I dont think it sounded good...I just enjoy singing,but I have no knowledge of it ^^ Please criticize as harsh as possible,I want only honest thoughts...But please tell me how to improve too...Please criticize on my singing only,because this is a duet cover...Bold are my solos and underlined are sung together...Thanks~ ^^ You are much loved~ <3
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
"Because Of You"
I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, You fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid
I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid
I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty Because of you I am afraid
Because of you Ho~ Because of you Ho~
Spoiler:
You need to watch out for the ends of notes and make sure to pronounce them as well instead of chopping them off - the sung word sounds "unfinished" right now. Vocal chords need to be more relaxed, I can hear the tension in your throat and this is bad for your throat and vocal chords. If the song is too high then you should consider lowering the pitch. I can tell that the slide up to the notes is your style of singing but you need to be careful that you slide from the right pitch to the right ending pitch as you sometimes miss the note. Also watch out for the pitch in your chorus solo - a bit sharp. 75%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th January 2012, 03:07
Watch out for pitch on the end long notes - take deeper breaths to support them More emotion Liza! 90%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th January 2012, 03:23
AClovetosing wrote:
Hello, can you criticize my singing, please? Be honest and tell me how to improve. Thanks!
Critic Form: Song: 聽你說 Artist: 郁可唯 & 林凡 Link to lyrics: Click
I'm singing 林凡's part (Blue), my harmonies sucks here and I am really not good at it. Can you give me some tips?
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Watch out for your pitch on notes - take deeper breaths to support them. Harmonies are hit but not confidently and supported - singing harmonies requires a good ear, listen to the harmonies in the song and try to recreate them in your singing. If you know a bit about music theory then you would also know that the most harmonies are 3 semitones/pitches higher than the melody. 80%
AClovetosing wrote:
Critic Form: Song: 妳 Artist: 田馥甄 Link to lyrics: Click
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Very pitchy - singalong with the song a couple of times to be confident with the melody. Sometimes you are pushing the notes out too hard and sometimes too soft which results in sharp and flat pitches throughout the song. More practice of the song and more confidence in what you are singing will result in a better cover. 70%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 27th January 2012, 03:30
FioreTear wrote:
Could you please comment on this cover please??
Spoiler:
Thank you~ *bow*
Spoiler:
Instrumental too loud - drowns out voice Good job～ 95%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 15th June 2012, 11:24
Open for business~
PiggyMelody Retired
Number of posts : 1116 Age : 24 Location : California Registration date : 2011-01-06
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 15th June 2012, 20:41
Pitch - just a little slow on some note changes, so focus more breath on/between note changes (have the note in your head, imagine it and how it sounds like and how you are physically going to move your vocals chords to push the next note) Harmonies should be lower by 1-2 semitones. Harmonies come with more practice, so ou can find instrumentals with backing vocals/harmonies and practice singing along with those. Good phrasing and emotion Melody~ Ahh, you are your own worst critic. Only you know what little mistakes exist, but to others they may not even be mistakes :) 90%
AnihJourney LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 518 Age : 32 Location : France Registration date : 2011-10-10
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 17th June 2012, 11:06
Harmonies too loud at the start - mixing mistake Pitchy notes, needs more confidence and more breath support (for those end notes and long phrases) Slight timing issues, coming in slower - practice the song more to familiarize yourself with the entrances Lacking emotion - very prettily sung, but this song needed some ugliness (some tears and snot) 80%
low notes lost in the guitar - should have transposed the song higher to make it easier to sing thus louder singing to not be drowned out Emotion was better in this one but could've had some more~ since the songs all carry a different style 90%
Hyuriko LTS Raindrop
Number of posts : 419 Age : 31 Location : France , Montbéliard Registration date : 2011-04-17
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 17th June 2012, 20:53
Number of posts : 911 Age : 27 Location : Singapore Registration date : 2012-05-01
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 18th June 2012, 08:10
Hi Lillie can you critique me?
Song: Heaven Artist: Ailee
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 19th June 2012, 06:28
Hyuriko wrote:
Song : Oh my gosh Artist : TTS
Spoiler:
Timing issues - need to practice more to grasp the entries and rhythm Out of pitch on some phrases - needs more breath support as most of the issues were flat notes 80%
Hyuriko wrote:
Song ; Sakura Artist : Ikimonogakari
Spoiler:
Pitchy and hesitant at one part of "Sakura" - small mistake Song is too low for you - should change the key of the song so that low notes are not pitchy 90%
xxlillie LTS Admin
Number of posts : 6708 Age : 30 Location : Aus Registration date : 2011-05-07
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 19th June 2012, 06:34
cloudymelody wrote:
Song: Heaven Artist: Ailee
Spoiler:
Pitchy - needs more breath support, be more confident and sing the notes out Instrumental could be softer - mixing issue Chorus line needs a bigger breath, better breathing 80%
Alicia LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 1054 Age : 24 Location : Singapore ! Registration date : 2011-10-29
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 19th June 2012, 13:51
Shall post here next time ;_;
Last edited by AliciaBoos on 19th June 2012, 19:18; edited 1 time in total
JasmineMarshiana LTS Firefly
Number of posts : 684 Age : 26 Location : Hong Kong Registration date : 2011-11-17
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 19th June 2012, 15:19
Mixing noise clicks (mostly at the start) and pronunciation are the only things that I can pick out. Clicks and puffs in recordings can be silenced/removed~ What audio program do you mix with? Watch out for pronunciation of j-words Hm, and the backing vocals could've been lowered a few notches 95%
PiggyMelody Retired
Number of posts : 1116 Age : 24 Location : California Registration date : 2011-01-06
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 30th June 2012, 00:46
Number of posts : 1054 Age : 24 Location : Singapore ! Registration date : 2011-10-29
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 30th June 2012, 19:57
Song : Volume Up Artist : 4 Minute Link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yzJEd8coi4&feature=channel&list=UL It's a duet cover with AmeliaaBoos . Yeah , She's my real life friend too . :) I took Hyuna and Jiyoon's parts while AmeliaaBoos took Sohyun , Gayoon and Jihyun . Incase you would like to see the lyrics , It's here :)
Shiori Rainbow
Number of posts : 896 Age : 29 Location : Where the polar bears roam and beavers chomp and igloos reside~! Come ski with me in July ;D Registration date : 2012-03-02
Subject: Re: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 6th July 2012, 21:44
![[CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips I_icon_minitime](https://2img.net/s/t/12/98/13/i_icon_minitime.gif){kind=icon}
30th June 2014, 19:44 by saranghaekpop99
Subject: [CLOSED]Lillie's Critic Centre -- Critic & Tips 
