People are unique and no two are ever the same—or so educators and fairytale writers liked to frequently tell me as I grew up. My life could be considered both contradicting and agreeing to that statement. Sounds complicated right? It’s because it is. I was unlucky enough to be born into this superficial world of misconception on a brilliant spring day. The only piece of reality that ruined the beautiful imagery of how my mother always described the day of my birth to me was that I wasn’t the only one. To me, in this world, there is nothing as depressing as living alongside a twin brother who grew up outdoing and overshadowing me. Living in a world where looks sell before personality, I never completely grasped the reason why my twin brother could rise up to the top while I stayed hidden in his shadows. To everyone we knew Youngmin was like the sun that lit up the atmosphere of where ever he went, but I on the other hand was like the rain that washed away the joyful pleasure his lasting charisma would leave behind. This was how I saw the two of us. Youngmin’s the sun and I’m the rain—all implicated sentiments included. Pathetically, I'm still looking towards a day when the sun and rain can coexist in harmony--those rare occasions that reassure my thoughts that happiness is indeed attainable...

“Jinjja? You have to leave tomorrow?” Nine year old Kwangmin fought away his tears as he pushed his friend on a rusty swing set in an open field behind their apartment. With every second of motion, the rubbing metal made ear splitting creaking noises, but this old run down playground was the only place the kids could call their safe getaway—a home away from home but close enough to come back for dinner. The girl he was with was his first friend, and though it seemed unlikely to know what love was at that age, he had always considered her his first love. Her family had helped his financially for as long as they could remember, always making sure there was food on the table and a warm home to return to when they were done playing. Neither of their families was particularly wealthy; they could even be considered in the opposite category in society but even at that age they knew luxury didn’t bring happiness—company did. When the girl’s swing swung back towards Kwangmin, the girl sighed,

“Ne, Appa said we have to.” Her small feet reached downwards to touch the dusty gravel, skidding as the swing moved until her velocity zeroed down to nothing. Kwangmin rushed to the open swing beside her, brushing some dirt off the shady wooden seating before he rocked slowly back and forth with the force of his ankles, not moving more than two feet.

“How far is Japan?” Kwangmin curiously asked, staring out into the wide span of evergreen trees that surrounded the playground, entitling them to solitude. He let go of the rusty chains and made a rectangular camera with his fingers, squinting into the frame he created.

“I don’t know for sure, but we probably won’t be able to play together for a long time.” She mumbled, her voice becoming quieter and shakier with every word. Her sentence ended with a soft sniffle. She stayed like that, sitting motionlessly on her own swing with her head drooped down as Kwangmin questioned whether he should pat her on the shoulder. He hated seeing her cry and he hated seeing her sad, but at nine years old he just didn’t know how to make things better. Slowly, he reached his hands foreword but before they reached her, a drop of rain splattered onto the back of his hand, followed by larger more rapid droplets. Moving his hand back, he looked up into the sky to see that dark gray clouds overtook their sunny afternoon.

“Kwangmin-ah, I should go now. Can you tell Youngmin I said goodbye?” She rose from her swing and gave Kwangmin the sweetest smile he ever saw, but it stung his mind like poison to know that it would be a long time before he saw her again.

“You aren’t going to see him yourself? He should be coming back from the soccer field now.” Kwangmin questioned, not wanting her to leave. She shook her head twice and insisted,

“Appa doesn’t want me away from home when it rains. Besides, my last memory of Youngmin is his happy smiling face. If I say goodbye he’ll frown, and that will be all I remember when I leave. Kwangmin-ah, you know I like Youngmin Oppa right?” Her ending question may not have been rhetorical, but Kwangmin didn’t want to answer. He knew she liked Youngmin—the only guy she called Oppa was Youngmin and the three of them were practically the same age.

“Annyeong, Kwangmin-ah,” She waved with her right hand, brushing off rain drops from her violet-white dress before turning to take her leave through the twisted dirt rut path their years of venturing had created. Kwangmin stayed seated on the left swing, watching her walk away from him and with every step she took, he felt like he could die. At nine, he didn’t know too much about the world. He didn’t know about bills or insurance or any of that adult stuff, but the heavy feeling he felt in his chest right now was a feeling he was all too familiar with. Alone he stayed, letting the rain drench his hair and clothes, mixing with the salty tears that poured down from his eyes.

“Jangmi-ah, Kajima…” He whispered the words he deemed useless, but despite how useless the words were he wished that she would heart his heart. Never in the nine years that he had lived has she ever acknowledged it.

“Youngmin Oppa! Eodiseo?!” A girl with long, straight brown hair sprinted all throughout the crowded cafeteria of Namnyeo high school during the busy lunch hour rush. With her hawk-like eyes she still found it hard to believe that she still lost sight of her ‘boyfriend’ who had ‘promised’ to spend the entire lunch hour with her and only her.

“Oppa! I found you!” She squealed with her overexcited smile, running towards a skinny male student sitting by himself at the end of a long lunch table, nibbling on a ham sandwich. Before the boy could brace himself, the girl had already ran full force at him, circling his neck with her possessive arms and nudging him playfully on the head.

“Youngmin Oppa! Why did you run so fast after English class?” She pouted like a child, removing her choking grasp on the boy’s neck. He rubbed it with his right hand and gave her a confused stare.

“Ah! M-mianhae, Kwangmin-ah! I thought you were Youngmin Oppa!” She apologized with a 90 degree bow followed by her signature sarcastic laughter to release the tension. Kwangmin tried to laugh sarcastically with her but the awkward atmosphere that followed his every footstep was a force field strong enough to send her running in the opposite direction. It was lucky for him, because even though she never showed interest in him, it felt like her annoyance was bounded trap him in. After all, it was the sixteenth time this week she had mistaken Kwangmin for his twin brother, Youngmin. When the sight was clear of her, Youngmin poked his head out of the guys’ wash room and threw a rolled up ball of paper towel at Kwangmin. He turned and gave Youngmin a reassuring nod, luring him from his hiding place.

“I seriously don’t understand why you don’t just break up with Hyewon; she’s crazy.” Kwangmin rolled his eyes in annoyance at his twin brother’s irresponsibility. Youngmin shrugged and took a seat across from him, stealing the other half of his sandwich and taking a bite.

“You already know the reason. She’s crazy! I never agreed to date her.” Youngmin reminded, looking around for his usual crowd of friends. Kwangmin pointed towards the west exit where a loud group of Namnyeo’s most outgoing and desirable guys stood play fighting with each other despite the fact that they were juniors in high school.

“They’re over there.” Kwangmin sighed, readying himself to be ditched again. He actually grew accustomed to being the loner of the school and wouldn’t mind if Youngmin left him like he usually did.

“Oh, great! See you at home, bro.” Youngmin smiled, jumping from the cafeteria table and sprinting towards his group of friends, entering the circle with a warm welcome. Kwangmin turned around, bored of always watching his twin have fun without him and kept his mind focused on his lunch. With his peripheral vision he could see Hyewon rushing animatedly towards Youngmin. Rolling his eyes again, he pulled out his biology notebook and began scanning the lesson from first period. It was unnecessary, but this was the typical routine of an academic introvert like himself.

“Youngmin Oppa, bogo shipeosseo!” She gushed from metres away. Her loud voice echoed through the entire cafeteria, loud enough for every student to hear. Youngmin was not in the mood to deal with her.

“Look, Hyewon. I never agreed to be your Oppa. There’s nothing between you and I, and I am not your boyfriend. Give a guy some space.” He bluntly ordered, eyeing her as she slowly sunk away from the group before he turned back to his friends who were all shocked at how harshly he put her down. His closest friend, Minwoo, held his hand out for a fist bump but instead, Youngmin shrugged uncaringly in response and headed towards his locker before classes started again. When he made his exit, the entire cafeteria made a loud, reminiscent, ‘oohing’ sound and Hyewon kept her head held low, dragging her feet back to her locker on the opposite side of the school from his. Kwangmin sighed from where he sat muttering,

“She had it coming.” Shaking the thought from his head, he proceeded to studying the notes on the human immune system, preparing ahead for the upcoming research report on the origins of lymphocytes and their relationship to the red bone marrow.

~~~

During dinnertime at the Jo household, the twins’ mom announced that she had exciting news for the two of them. The two sat beside each other facing their mom, mouths stuffed with delicious food as they waited for her to speak.

“An old friend is coming back to Seoul from Japan tomorrow!” She declared; the word ‘Japan’ caught Kwangmin’s ears. He stopped chewing on his food and leaned in closer to hear his mom clearer while Youngmin continued munching, even stealing all the bulgogi from Kwangmin’s plate and gobbled it up.

“You all remember Kim Jangmi, don’t you?” She asked, watching two pairs of eyes grow wide with disbelief. They never heard news from her ever since she left when they were nine years old. Now that they’re seventeen, all memories of her seemed like a segment of their distant and insignificant paths. Though only eight years have passed, Kwangmin couldn’t bring himself to see her again. After the day she left him rain-soaked at the playground, he felt like a part of him died.

“One of you is in charge of picking her up every morning; she moved in just down the street.” She proclaimed, eyeing both of them back and forth with a smirk. Youngmin prayed that she would choose the goody-two-shoes responsible twin, but instead, she pointed at Youngmin. Youngmin now pointed at himself with a confused expression and asked,

“Me? Are you serious?” his jaws practically dropped to the ground. Their mom nodded and left the dinner table for the two of them to clean, and frustrated, Youngmin was second to leave without so much as to putting his bowl in the sink. Kwangmin was left with the chores yet again. With a sigh, he grabbed all the dishes and headed towards the sink.

“Yah, Kwangmin,” Youngmin’s hushed voice called. Kwangmin turned to see youngmin poking his head past the doorway to the living room with his signature puppy face in play.

“What do you want?” Kwangmin asked annoyed, scrubbing the dishes roughly with a wet cloth and large excess amounts of dish soap. He slammed a glass plate so hard on the dish rack it nearly broke from the mere impact. Youngmin clapped his hands together to add to his pleading image and begged,

“Will you pick her up every morning for me?” His whining was equivalent to that of a five year olds’. Every morning, Youngmin would leave the house early and head to school because he and his friends were part of the dance club at Namnyeo high school. It would take a lot more than a parent’s request to make him compromise dance practices, and Kwangmin knew that well. With no energy left to argue, he made a hand gesture to get Youngmin to come and when he came closer, Kwangmin threw the wet towel at him.

“What the hell?!” Youngmin cursed, holding the dripping soapy towel in his hands. Kwangmin folded his arms and sighed,

“If you want me to do that for you, then you’re cleaning up after dinner from now on.” Without waiting for Youngmin’s thoughts on his proposal, he sped up the stairs to his room. In his mind, he was only relieved that he didn’t have to clean the tornado that was post-dinnertime mess anymore. Back in his secluded room, he laid his exhausted body on his bed and savoured the peace and quiet of it all.

“Kim Jangmi?” He mumbled, pulling out a framed picture inside the bottom drawer of his dresser and gazed into the eyes of the nine year old girl inside.

“How much can one person change in just eight years?” He never fully forgave her for leaving him like that in the rain, but he also never really understood what it was she did wrong. Maybe it was the fact that she chose Youngmin over him that kept the flame of his grudges burning, but even now, he was used to being second. Kwangmin heard the loud ruffle of footsteps marching towards the door of his room and he quickly pulled out a random notebook, placing it over his head. Right after he did, the door slammed open and a fuming Youngmin stood at the opening.

“Go away, I’m studying.” Kwangmin shooed, staring at the sloppy handwriting in the notebook that was labeled ‘comprehension basics’.

“Nabbeun twaeji…” Youngmin huffed, entering the room without permission and tossing the notebook onto the floor.

“Keojitmal; you’re a science student. For what reason do you have to study elementary level comprehension?” Youngmin rolled his eyes and then bounced onto Kwangmin’s bed, landing right on his hand.

“Okay, well, what do you want?” Kwangmin rolled his eyes, trying to shove Youngmin off but failed to. Though in presence they looked identical, it was evident Youngmin had a tad more muscle than Kwangmin due to his athleticism.

“Can’t we change the compromise a little bit? I’ll do your biology homework instead of cleaning after dinner. How does that sound?” Youngmin pleaded, still sitting on Kwangmin’s hand.

“Screw off, Youngmin. The deal is sealed, there’s no backing out now.” Kwangmin scolded, still struggling to free his hand. Unexpctedly, Youngmin moved up to sit on his stomach and begged again. With all the force Kwangmin could muster up, he shoved Youngmin off the bed and sent him rolling towards the hard ground of his floor.

“Ka.” KWangmin ordered Youngmin to leave, pulling out a relevant notebook and a textbook from under his bed and setting up a study area among his bed sheets. Youngmin made whimpering dog noises but Kwangmin ignored him completely, so in defeat, he left. At the sound of his room door closing at last, he pushed all his homework off his bed and tucked himself in. Secretly he couldn’t wait to see Jangmi again.

Kwangmin slowly strolled along the sidewalk, his every step causing a gentle ripple in the puddles as he tactfully dodged worms that squirmed aimlessly n his way. The sky was so clear of clouds yesterday that he found It too hard to believe that he was now walking in the midst of a rainstorm. Though in reality, ‘down the street’ wasn’t considered to be far, with heavy winds forcing against him it felt like an eternity until he reached Jangmi’s front door.

“I should’ve brought an umbrella…” He mumbled crankily, pushing his soaked bangs out of his eyes and adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulders. He rang the doorbell twice before it finally opened, and out walked Kim Jangmi. At first glance, she didn’t look particularly stunning. There was no tragic ugly duckling to beautiful swan transformation like he had anticipated the night before, but he had to admit that she did get prettier.

“Ah Youngmin Oppa! Sorry to keep you waiting!” she apologized politely, pushing a loose strand of her wavy brown hair behind her ears and closing the screen door. Kwangmin nodded, remembering that he was supposed to be ‘Youngmin’ every morning and began walking towards the school, not caring how the raindrops awkwardly splashed against his face. After a few steps, he completely forgot that she was behind him until the rain stopped dripping onto his head. He looked up to see a pink umbrella over his head.

“You might catch a cold if you stay in the rain like this.” She warned with a warm smile, taking her place beside him on the sidewalk. He turned to stare at her for a few moments. Her face matured, but her eyes and her smile were still the same. He could name a classroom full of girls that would be considered more attractive than her, but for some reason, he never took an interest in any of them. It seemed ironic that she even remotely cared whether he caught a cold or not, because back when they were nine years old she didn’t. She left him at the beat down playground, his thoughts terrorizing him as he cried alone in the rain. Ultimately, he caught a cold.

“Kwaenchanayo,” he sighed, pushing the umbrella closer towards her and speeding up his pace so that they weren’t side by side. Though he was supposed to be acting like Youngmin, the fact was that he wasn’t, so he had no idea how to behave. Jangmi lagged behind him confused, holding the handle of her umbrella close to her body as she whispered her thoughts soft enough to not be heard past the raindrops rapidly splashing into the puddles on the concrete,

“He doesn’t seem like himself today…” She remembered Youngmin never felt fond of rain, and back when they were younger he was always the one terrified of thunder and lightning. Perhaps he was just in a bad mood because of the weather. Kwangmin continued his fast pace towards the school, not sparing even one glance backwards at Jangmi. He wasn’t being ignorant because she wasn’t pretty, but rather because he knew that she wanted to be with Youngmin—not him. Girls wishing to date Youngmin all had one thing in common; wishful thinking. Because Jangmi wasn’t a stunning teenage goddess, it was even less likely that she’d attract the attention of the school’s all-star, Youngmin. Kwangmin wasn’t sure if a childhood history would be enough for Youngmin to want to be around her, after all, he wasn’t even willing to pick her up today.

“Youngmin Oppa,” Jangmi called from behind several times before Kwangmin realized he should respond. Turning around to face her at the school gates he casually asked,

“Is something wrong?” She shook her head immediately and smiled,

“Can you show me around the school at lunch?” Kwangmin had no idea how to respond. She would find out he was lying eventually, and Kwangmin hated lying the most. Thanks to his arrogant twin brother, he’s been finding himself doing much of that lately though. An excuse suddenly filled into his head.

“I… have dance practice during lunch today.” Kwangmin remembered, turning back to rush into the school. Jangmi followed after him, forcing her umbrella shut and shaking the excess droplets off onto the cry mat the moment they entered the school. Despite being soaked in rainwater, Kwangmin rushed down his respective hallway to the science department, leaving a wet trail behind him from his soggy sneakers.

“Science? Eomeonim told me Youngmin studied history and literature…” Jangmi mumbled confusedly, pulling out her crinkled schedule from a pocket in her backpack. She read the room number several times to memorize it and began trying to find her way around. Her first period was Japanese, and upon entering the hallway filled with classrooms for language courses, she saw someone familiar pass by her amidst a group of other outgoing and handsome seniors.

“Kwangmin? He can’t possibly have changed that much…” Jangmi murmured, catching a glance of Youngmin’s smiling face as he high five’d Minwoo, surrounded by his usual crowd. She remembered Kwangmin to be the quiet twin, the one who seldom had a reason to smile. Was it possible that they switched personalities while she was gone? Shrugging it off, she entered her classroom and greeted the teacher. He sent her to a seat near the middle back beside a napping girl with a similar hair color to hers. Jangmi’s ruffling in her seat caused the girl to wake up. Though she was yawning, it was evident that she was one of the prettier girls in this school.

“Are you new here?” She asked softly, performing a light hair flip as she did. Jangmi nodded, holding out her hand for a hand shake.

“Annyeonghaseyo, jeoneun Kim Jangmi imnida.” She introduced, shaking the girl’s hands.

“That’s a pretty name. Call me Hyewon. By the way, you can drop the formalities.” She winked with aegyo. Jangmi nodded, pulling out her Japanese textbook. This class would be a total breeze for her considering the years she spent abroad in Japan for such a long time. Her dad was so worried she would forget Korean after being away for so long and made a Korean-only policy for speaking at home, but even so, her Japanese was quite commendable. After half an hour into the lesson, Hyewon looked as if she was being bored to pieces. Knowing that the teacher wouldn’t care for conversations at the back of the class, Hyewon decided to find out more about Jangmi. Of course, the information she sought was completely for gossiping purposes.

“So, do you have your eyes set on any guys in this school yet?” Hyewon asked excitedly in a hushed whisper. Jangmi turned to her and shrugged, debating whether she should tell Hyewon anything.

“Girl, don’t hide it from me. A shrug is a yes so spill it.” Hyewon demanded, making a pouty face as she leaned closer to Jangmi’s desk. Sighing, Jangmi whispered,

“Jo Youngmin,” and Hyewon in response, gasped so loud the entire back half of the classroom turned around to glare. Waving an arm in apology, Hyewon turned back to Jangmi and shot her a glare of her own.

“I know you’re new and all so you don’t know this yet, but Youngmin is completely out of your league. Don’t even bother.” Hyewon discouraged, receiving a chuckle from another girl sitting in front of Jangmi.

“Hyewon’s just depressed because Youngmin rejected her in front of the entire school yesterday.” She explained, holding a pencil over her ear with a sly smile.

“Shut the hell up, Eungyo. It was just a misunderstanding.” Hyewon disagreed, crossing her arms in defeat. Jangmi watched the two argue and grew tired. Sighing, she rested her head on the desk and scribbled random Japanese characters on her note book. Her blue pen spelled out ‘どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう?’and the curious Hyewon peeked over, attempting to read it.

“Doushite… Something… Something… Something… shimattan darou?” She muttered in immensely broken Japanese. Jangmi grinned, remembering that the class hadn’t finished learning all the Hiragana letters let alone Katakana and Kanji.

“What does that mean?” Eungyo asked, turning her notebook towards her as she analyzed each character.

“Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou?” Jangmi replied in fluent Japanese. There was nothing awkward about her accent at all. The teacher’s sudden loud voice brought back the three’s attention as he announced the daily homework and dismissed them. Jangmi took her time shoving her notebook back into her backpack as Hyewon dashed out of the room, proclaiming something about meeting Youngmin.

“Don’t grow too fond of her. She’s seriously bad news.” Eungyo warned, helping Jangmi zip up her pencil case with a kind smile. Eungyo was pretty on her own level, but compared to Hyewon she would seem almost insignificant. The one thing that caught Jangmi’s attention was her bright red hair. Was she some sort of gangster rebel?

“Thanks,” Jangmi smiled, receiving her pencil case from Eungyo’s hands.

“It’s unfortunate that you haven’t even spent a day in Namnyeo high school and you’re already labeled as one of Youngmin’s toys. Don’t worry; I won’t judge you for it. Just don’t be surprised if he rejects you hard when you confess.” Eungyo sighed in a typical manner, waiting for Jangmi to leave the classroom with her. Jangmi thought back to this morning when she walked ‘with’ Youngmin to school. The aura he radiated didn’t make him seem like anything the two girls had described, and this is what confused her the most.

“What class do you have next?” Eungyo asked, intending to help her find her way to the classroom.

“English,” Jangmi answered, glancing at her schedule that poked out of her pocket.

“You really have a knack for languages don’t you?” Eungyo joked, leading her to the English hallway. They browsed down the hall eyeing the numbers on each door until they found the matching room number.

“Good luck. Youngmin’s in that class.” Eungyo smiled, patting Jangmi encouragingly on the back before leaving with a wave.

“I’ll find you at lunch, okay?” She offered, receiving a grateful nod from Jangmi before leaving. Jangmi stared at the closed wooden door that read ‘English’ and took a gulp. She turned the knob slowly and pulled the door open, walking in to see one of the twins seated at the back surrounded by a bunch of guys who could be assumed to be troublemakers from first glance.

“Welcome to the class, take a seat beside Minwoo at the back,” The teacher smiled in Korean, pointing a ruler at a boy with a red hat at the back. Jangmi assumed he was the one named Minwoo and quickly took a seat beside him. After she sat down, she took the time to stare at the twin sitting in the back corner. The moment their eyes locked, Youngmin knew it was her. She was Kim Jangmi, but what could he do? She sat at her desk fiddling with a few pens in a striped turtleneck, her hair pulled up into a messy bun as she muttered English words to herself awkwardly. What could Youngmin do? His friends all followed his stare to the girl sitting beside Minwoo, and even Donghyun with the red hair made a gag face.

Jangmi noticed Youngmin’s stare and returned it with a hesitant smile. Something seemed out of place about him but she couldn’t figure out what. To break the awkward tension, she slowly lifted her right hand to wave and immediately he turned away. Minwoo was watching Youngmin, raising an eyebrow when he suddenly shifted his gaze and then followed the direction opposite of where he was now looking to the timid and embarrassed girl sitting beside him. She pulled her hand back down, her cheeks flushed red as she bit her bottom lip.

“Oh? The new girl has a thing for Youngmin already?” Minwoo teased half-heartedly, changing his sitting position to face her. Jangmi felt angered by his words, but when she looked up to meet his gaze his eyes reflected nothing but sincerity. An innocent face like his did not match the reputation he and his friends held at the school.

“I’m not sure if anyone told you this already but Youngmin can be pretty harsh when girls confess so you might want to think it over a bit before you go and ‘pour out your love’ to him, alright?” He warned seriously with a wink before pulling off his hat to fan himself. The classroom was heating up despite the cold weather outside even Jangmi’s neck felt sweaty in her wooly turtleneck. She didn’t want to say anything snarky to him, after all for all she knew he was probably just extending a helping hand to a random girl that just got shot down by the most popular boy in their grade—maybe even school.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled and then released a heavy sigh, pulling out a notebook from her backpack and flipping past her old Japanese notes to a fresh page. Half the notebook was still useable and she hated wasting. Minwoo was watching her out of curiosity. He had always taken strong interest in the new kids. To him, everything was a game of guessing how they would all fit into their school’s social hierarchy, but the smug response he received from Jangmi just now made him unsure where she would belong. Glancing briefly at each page as she flipped, he placed a hand on one page to stop her abruptly and mumbled,

“Why did I end up falling in love with you?” He was reading the small short sentence Jangmi had scribbled just the class before. He chuckled playfully,

“Ah, so you’re one of those hopeful romantics that scribble love all over their notebooks?” He always found scribbles in girls’ notebooks amusing, ranging from death threats to silent confessions, it all added flavor to his psychological game. Jangmi stared back at him, confused that he was able to read her complex script in Japanese so quickly. He just didn’t look the type to know languages, but judging people based on looks was not her forte. She gave him a strange stare, wondering why he was even looking at her notes and ignored his question, brushing his palm off her notebook and flipping to a fresh lined sheet. Minwoo found her tolerance level quite amusing, preparing to ask her more ice breaking questions until Donghyun tapped him roughly on the shoulder.

“Getting friendly with the new girl already, Minwoo?” He joked, giving Jangmi a disgusted look behind her back. Out of all their friends, Donghyun was known to be the shallowest and the fact was proven repeatedly by his bold and shameless attitude.

“Well if I’m going to be sitting beside her for the rest of the semester I might as well be comfortable about it.” He defended; rolling his eyes at Donghyun’s mixed assumption. He really had no other feelings for her; he just didn’t want to be a jerk like the rest of them. She already proved herself to be pretty witty and polite, so there was no sense in sending her into high school hell in her senior year. Then again, if she got mixed in with anyone of the guys she’d be a definite drama magnet.

~~~

After an awkward English class spent avoiding the temptation to turn backwards to glance at Youngmin, she hugged her binder close to her body and trailed down the hallway towards the cafeteria. She had a habit of skipping lunch, and though it was an unhealthy form of dieting, she didn’t mind one bit.

“Why so stiff?” Eungyo asked with a laugh, running to join Jangmi’s walk to the cafeteria. Her red hair hung down just past her shoulders; against the light it was impossible to miss her. Jangmi coughed, loosening her shoulders and readjusting the strap of her backpack.

“How was English with Youngmin?” She asked curiously with a nudge, not expecting a positive response. Every girl in the school knew how Youngmin was. To those he knew little of, he was cold and ignorant and there were very few out there that he ever let close to him. Jangmi shrugged, feeling a hurtful pounding in her chest when she remembered how Youngmin blankly turned his head away the moment she greeted him. According to everyone at Namnyeo high school, he was like that—there was no explanation.

“Oh! Look over there,” Eungyo smiled brightly, pointing to Kwangmin who sat at the end of a vacant lunch table nibbling on a sandwich with a biology textbook opened in front of him, “That’s Youngmin’s identical twin, Kwangmin.” Jangmi looked in the direction Eungyo pointed to and smiled, speeding up her pace as she walked towards him, leaving Eungyo lagging behind confusedly.

“You’ve just met him and you’re already attracted? Well I guess you’d have a better chance with Kwangmin if anyone…” Eungyo mumbled, following Jangmi to the table. Jangmi ignored Eungyo’s comment and hopped onto the seat across from Kwangmin, slamming his biology textbook shut making him lose the page he had been reading. Kwangmin looked up at her with his big, shocked eyes. He had no words to say.

“Ah… Jangmi…” He mumbled nervously, unsure of what to do. Considering she would recognize the clothes he wore this morning to pick her up, there was no mistaking that she had figured out the lie he initiated. Sitting here awkwardly alone at a lunch table only reinforced the fact that he wasn’t the popular Youngmin who never went anywhere without an entourage.

“Jangmi, Kwangmin,” Eungyo introduced filially, “Kwangmin, Jangmi.” They both waved awkwardly at each other before Kwangmin opened his biology textbook again.

“Uhm… He’s just naturally quiet so don’t be offended.” Eungyo informed, watching Kwangmin as he nibbled on his sandwich completely engrossed in whatever he was reading about erythrocytes.

“I should’ve known you were Kwangmin this morning. It’s not as easy for me now since I haven’t seen you two since we were nine.” Jangmi explained, examining his face for traits that would help her differentiate between the two. At school, no one needed to stare at the two for hours to be able to tell them apart. They simply looked out for whoever was the loner, and they’d automatically know he wasn’t the Youngmin they all sought.

“It’s… okay. I’m sorry for tricking you.” Kwangmin apologized, his head still locked on the text book. It was evident he still liked her even after all these years but it was obvious that even she hadn’t changed much. One important fact remained true—Jangmi still loved Youngmin.

“Wait, hold up!” Eungyo interrupted, raising both arms as she demanded,

“Kim Jangmi, you know the Jo twins personally?” Jangmi turned to her with an apologetic expression, nodding. It would be a while before she would be comfortable enough to give a story of her past to eungyo considering they had only met hours ago. Kwangmin looked up again when the shadow that overlapped his section of the cafeteria was overwhelmed by the sudden rays of sunlight from the windows on the roof. Jangmi looked up to see the bright sun, shining elegantly through the transparent sheets of glass as the warmth sent welcoming chills down her spine. A sudden outburst of girls gossiping filled the air as Youngmin and his crew of friends entered. Hyewon was the arrogant one that fled immediately to Youngmin’s side, clinging onto his arm annoyingly like a disease. He immediately pulled his arm away, giving her a loathing glare before continuing on his way to the dance room. Jangmi’s eyes were locked on Youngmin who gallantly lead his group as if they were some street gang but much more proper. Seeing him push away Hyewon so heartlessly pushed a nerve in Jangmi, and though she was known for being patient and tolerant, she wanted nothing more than to ask him why he was being so cocky. This was not the Youngmin she fell in love with back when they were younger. She knew age changed a lot of things but she never thought that Youngmin would ever become a jerk to that extent. Her hands involuntarily clenched into fists; Eungyo could almost see a vein pop in her forehead. Before they exited to the dance hallway, Youngmin left his entourage and jogged over to Kwangmin.

“I’ll be home late today so don’t wait up for dinner, alright?” Youngmin mumbled quickly into his ears. Jangmi stared at him suspiciously, half angry but half in admiration. No matter how angry she wanted to be with either of the twins, she never could be bold enough to act out whatever went on in her head. Before Youngmin to sprint off back to his friends, Kwangmin grabbed onto his arm and reminded,

“We’re having a dinner party with Jangmi’s family tonight sowherever you’re going, cancel it.” To everyone, Kwangmin seemed like a silent push over with no backbone, but when it came to controlling the wildness of his twin brother he was a force to be reckoned with. Youngmin groaned annoyed, shooting Jangmi an almost hateful glare before agreeing,

“Fine,”

“One more thing; you’re bringing Jangmi back after school.” Kwangmin noted, rolling the plastic bag that held his sandwich into a ball and chucking it straight into the garbage can across from him over Jangmi’s head. From Eungyo’s perspective, he looked almost as cool as Youngmin that moment. The personality transformation he made when dealing with Youngmin was much more intriguing than his usual social awkwardness. No one ever understood why he never tried harder to be part of the crowd—or any crowd for that matter.

“Why can’t you?” Youngmin whined like a five year old to his twin brother.

“I signed up for a practice chemistry lab today after school. You got off the hook this morning; don’t expect me to do you another favour.” He answered strictly. None of his words shook and he never hesitated midway like he usually would. Youngmin looked back at Jangmi who was staring at him in disappointment. From closer up, she wasn’t ugly at all, in fact, her face still kept a younger charm that reminded him of how she was when they were younger. Her skin was not ghost pale, but pale enough to give off a sense of purity and though she wore little or no make-up, her warm eyes stood out the most to him. Those eyes were the exact same from when they were nine years old, curiously going on careless scavenger hunts around the neighborhoods. He remembered how they formed a beautiful half moon whenever he made her laugh, and how sorrowfully heartbreaking they were when her father scolded her to the edge of tears. Though they were high school seniors now, the expression she gave off made them feel no different than from when they were nine.

“Yo, Youngmin. If we’re late again our coach is going to make us do hand stands for half an hour again.” Minwoo called, stepping out from the larger crowd that patiently and loyally waited for him. His voice interrupted his short reminiscing and before he left to go join his friends, he gave Jangmi an apologetic smile, once again making her heart flutter with ease.

Youngmin leaned casually against a cement pillar that added to the elegance of their over budgeted high school. Nothing irritated him more than having to spend an entire spare at school sweating in his new designer hoodie under the autumn sunlight that beat down on him. Originally he planned to go get drinks with Minwoo who also had a spare last period with him today but he had to cancel. Impatiently, he pulled out his cell phone and glared at the time. Thirty more minutes until Jangmi’s class ended. Afraid of a tan, he walked over to the bench out front shielded by a protective shadow cast down from the large pillars.

“Ugh, what do I do…” Youngmin muttered, messing up his hair as he reflected on how he treated Jangmi earlier in the day. Jangmi was his first love and he knew very well that he was hers, but things were different when they were nine years old. Hyunseong had told him before class change that Jangmi was chatting with Hyewon in Japanese class. He wanted nothing more to do with Hyewon, so in order to avoid her he thought ignoring Jangmi would also do the trick, but something just didn’t feel right. He was used to his cold persona, not caring for the fragile emotions of any girl in their school and he didn’t think that Jangmi could be much of an exception. Youngmin could proudly admit that he’s rejected girls far prettier in appearance than Jangmi without a second thought, but this was the first and only time he’d ever regret his mindless behavior. What was so unique about a first love? In actuality they had never truly been together and at nine could it even be possible to determine what was or was not love?

His complicated thoughts made the thirty minutes pass quickly and soon enough, the bell sounded. He stood up immediately to search for Jangmi among the crowd and finally spotted her beside the easy-to-spot red-head. He never bothered to memorize the names of many students; he just remembered seeing her around a lot. Her bright red hair was extremely hard to miss.

“You want to go for a drink?” Eungyo suggested, hoisting her backpack on one shoulder as she asked Jangmi with a welcoming smile. Another girl with blonde hair and long, black roots walked up beside them to join in the conversation. Again, Youngmin never cared to learn her name either.

“Yeah Jangmi, you should come along. We’re regulars at a popular café just around the corner.” The blonde one added, grabbing onto Eungyo’s arm possessively but playfully. Eungyo shrugged her off and rubbed her arm, nodding in agreement.

“Could I?” Jangmi beamed, lighting up to their invitation, “That would be so—“

“Sorry, she can’t chill with you ladies today. She has to come with me.” Youngmin interrupted her, making his grand appearance from out of what seemed like nowhere. He grabbed onto her wrist, giving the two girls with Jangmi his typical cold stare. Jangmi turned and looked up at his face, recognizing Youngmin immediately. Even though Kwangmin and Youngmin were identical twins, there was something about their aura that made them distinct from each other.

“Y-youngmin Oppa,” The blonde girl gasped, covering her mouth with both hands as she looked back and forth between Jangmi and Youngmin. Eungyo rolled her eyes again, not falling for Youngmin’s solitary charms and gave her friend a painful wakeup call with a smack on the head.

“Chanmi, stop calling him that; Do you want him to embarrass you in front of the entire school again?” Eungyo reminded her in a hushed voice out of worry rather than threat. Chanmi had confessed to Youngmin near their last week of junior year and received a loud rejection in the cafeteria, a similar fate to Hyewon’s. Jangmi overheard, looking back up at Youngmin’s unchanging glare. How many girls did he hurt, really? All her life she never imagined Youngmin would become like this. Slightly annoyed, she tried to break his grasp but he held strong, tightening his grip on her the more she struggled.

“Shall we go now, Jangmi?” Youngmin asked, turning to Jangmi with a softer gaze. Chanmi looked as if she would burst into tears while Eungyo looked so ticked off that she could beat him to a pulp on demand. Eungyo’s fists were rolled tight into a ball and though her mouth was closed shut, you could tell her teeth were gritting against each other. Without waiting for a response, Youngmin began to pull Jangmi along without looking back. Jangmi gave them both an apologetic wave and they waved back confusedly, exchanging strange glances. When they were out of school grounds and on their way back to their street; Youngmin let go of Jangmi’s wrist which turned white due to loss of circulation. She rubbed it gently with her other hand, giving Youngmin an annoyed stare. He sped up his pace, walking casually in front of her with his hands in his jean pockets.

“Tell me something.” Jangmi said boldly, matching her pace with his. Though she was shorter by at least half a head, her out-of-character attitude right now was almost intimidating. Youngmin didn’t seem as high and mighty without his group of obnoxious jerks.

“What do you want to know?” Youngmin asked uninterestingly. He never spared her eye contact, making the situation look even more embarrassing for her.

“Why did you become so inconsiderate to girls who are courageous enough to confess to you?” She asked out of annoyance and anger. He stopped, turning to face her as his height towered down.

“It’s not courage; it’s arrogance. They’re all oversensitive teenage girls running around with their uncontrolled hormones doing whatever they feel like, saying whatever they want, and out of them it’s the ugly ones that annoy me the most.” He said in almost a hiss. It seemed as if he was directing the last bit at her, but she never took it too seriously considering she never confessed to him—yet. After seeing how much of a jerk he was on the first day, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to anymore.

“I never thought I’d say this but I’m really disappointed with you, Youngmin-sshi.” Jangmi retorted, talking formally to emphasize their distance, “Of all the guys that I’ve ever met, I never thought that you would become the king of superficiality and ignorance.” She stopped walking, staring him right dead in the eyes with her own eerie glare. Youngmin stepped closer towards her, lowering his head to meet her eye to eye.

“Do you hate me, then?” He asked, tilting his head slightly. Jangmi;s heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she couldn’t move. The only response she could give was a nervous gulp which caused him to break out in a smirk.

“Even though I’m the king of superficiality and ignorance, you still can’t hate me. So what is it?” Youngmin asked tauntingly, his head still in close proximity with hers. She still could not say a thing. Sweat began dripping down her forehead, and the blaring sun only made it harder for her to think.

“Do you mean to tell me that the cute little affection you had towards me when you were younger still lingers in your heart? What? You want to confess too?” Youngmin interrogated conceitedly. Though he felt bad earlier for treating her coldly, hearing her insult him so boldly made a scar on his pride that he couldn’t afford. Impulsively, he used his own arrogance to get back at her, not realizing just how far he crossed the line. Jangmi’s face grew red with anger as she bit her bottom lip. Without thinking, she turned in the opposite direction and continued back to the school. She felt so ridiculed that she didn’t want to be within seeing distance of Youngmin.

“Yah, where are you going?” Youngmin asked annoyingly. If he couldn’t bring her back his mom would surely give him heck.

“Anywhere away from you,” Jangmi snarled, tears welling up in her eyes as she stormed off.

“Tch, suit yourself then. Just remember to get back before 5 or I’m not letting you off easy.” He threatened, also angry by her impulsiveness. In the end they both were just driving each other off the edge unreasonably. Jangmi stomped all the way back to the school, her sweat mixing in with her tears. She felt disgusting, not only physically but with her own emotions. After being so beaten down by Youngmin, she was certain ever hint of emotion she had left for him evaporated, but she couldn’t be sure. Remembering his genuine smile at lunch time pulled her back to square one and only added to her frustration. She took a seat at the bench in front of the school, looking out towards the soccer field where a group of jocks tossed a football around. Admiring the fresh air, she took this as an opportunity to quiet down and calm her thoughts. Her eyes slowly closed, but the dark did little to relieve her annoyance. The sound of ruffling papers and plastic dropping onto the hard cement forced her eyes open and she turned to see Kwangmin awkwardly trying to pick up his water bottle while fitting a bunch of papers into a folder. Jangmi grabbed the water bottle and then opened the folder for him, but he avoided eye contact the entire time.

“Gomapseumnida,” He bowed, receiving the folder and then began walking down the same sidewalk Jangmi just came from.

“Kwangmin-ah,” Jangmi called, causing him to turn and finally see her face to face. He was confused to see her still at the school, especially since the sky was now overruled by gray clouds.

“Youngmin never took you home? This annoying kid is going to get it…” Kwangmin threatened, his voice fading as his sentence ended. Jangmi shook her head and explained,

“We got in sort of a fight along the way.” Kwangmin looked up and noticed her tear-stained cheeks, her red puffy eyes and softened his gaze. He couldn’t have expected less from his hardheaded twin. Glancing at his watch and back up at Jangmi he remembered the dinner party and urged,

“Tell me along the way, we have to get going now before your dad gets impatient.” Kwangmin remembered Jangmi’s dad’s attitude clearly; especially his impatience. Punctuality was more than a virtue in Jangmi’s house and they were already running a little late. Kwangmin ran awkwardly beside Jangmi, hugging his folder as droplets of rain began falling. With each passing second, the droplets grew into a violent rainfall and on instinct; Kwangmin raised the folder over top of Jangmi’s head so that she wouldn’t get soaked.

“Kwangmin, your notes are getting drenched!” Jangmi gasped, snatching the folder away and quickly shoving it into his overloaded backpack. The two of them were getting showered by the fox rain, but thankfully their houses were in sight. Kwangmin first walked Jangmi home, ensuring she entered safely before heading back to his own house. They would meet again in one hour at a fancier restaurant chosen by Jangmi’s father. Upon entering his own house, Kwangmin dumped his heavy backpack onto the floor beside the shoe rack and dashed up the stairs to Youngmin’s room where he found Youngmin playing Starcraft on his new computer.

“At least dry up before coming in; you’re getting my carpet soaked!” Youngmin whined, diverting his eyes from the screen to see a rain-soaked twin brother standing in the middle of his room tapping his feet impatiently.

“When are you going to stop with this obnoxious attitude of yours? At first I thought it was just a phase but now you’re really going too far. If what you’re doing is going to make Jangmi insecure enough to run away then you obviously need a reality check. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Youngmin.” Kwangmin scolded, giving him the deadliest glare ever. Youngmin was thrown back by Kwangmin’s sudden accusation, but this time he wasn’t angered. It took a lot of piss of Kwangmin, and now that he did it, he regretted it. This was how he knows he crossed the line.

“What did you say to her?” Kwangmin asked in a more calm tone but his serious eyes stayed locked on Youngmin’s face. The dinner party was in less than an hour and if another fight were to happen then even the adults would get sucked in, and that was a mess Kwangmin didn’t want to even imagine.

The two bickering twins continued their argument during the car ride to the restaurant where Jangmi’s father waited patiently for their arrival.A bottle of red wine sat in the centre, each seat appointed its own wine glass. Kwangmin took a seat beside Jangmi’s intimidating father with Youngmin on his other side. Youngmin’s shoulders were stiff, his eyes avoiding direct contact with Jangmi’s dad. Ever since they were young, Youngmin always managed to get on his bad side while Kwangmin was a perfect angel in his eyes.

“Have you been waiting long?” Their mom asked politely, placing her purse on an empty chair. These fancy dinners were something they rarely got to experience due to their financial difficulties growing up. Now that they were well on their way to wealth, it felt nice to be able to live in luxury for one evening. Youngmin pulled on his tie trying to loosen its’ deathly grip around his neck but his hand was slapped away by his mother who gave him a cautious glare before he could accumulate breathing space.

“No, you came at the perfect time.” He smiled, pouring her a glass of wine. Youngmin and Kwangmin were still too under aged to drink so they settled for cranberry juice, the ultimate beverage disguised as wine. Looking around, she noticed someone important was missing and asked,

“Where is your daughter?”

“My wife called moments before. They’re still stuck in traffic but they’ll be here shortly.” He replied as he passed each person a menu. Kwangmin remembered Jangmi’s disappointed eyes from earlier in the day and wondered how she would cope with seeing Youngmin again. She barely had time to sort things out in her head and she’s already being forced to see his annoying face again. The thought made Kwangmin force out a sigh, but then another intriguing idea entered his mind. If Youngmin’s face was annoying, then wasn’t his as well? They were identical twins after all. Kwangmin slapped himself mentally for thinking too much and shook his head.

“What’s up with you?” Youngmin asked, eyeing his brother carefully as he sipped his juice in the wine glass. Thankfully their mom respected their denial of wearing the same clothes, especially at this age. Adults had a strange tendency for matching identical twins together—as if they weren’t already hard enough to tell apart. One major difference to help the untrained eyes identify their differences was that Kwangmin’s bangs went opposite of Youngmin’s. If people were observant enough they would be able to tell them apart with ease. The door to the reserved room opened and a waitress in formal attire stepped in, bowing with a circular tray in her hands as two people walked in. There was no mistaking that the taller one was Kim Jangmi, but it was hard to believe that the Jangmi that now stood before them was the same Jangmi from back at school. Now, with her hair done up in a slight wave and a bow accented light purple dress she looked as if she was the princess of Korea compared to her thick framed glasses and outdated striped turtle neck.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” The twins said in unison, standing up to greet them. Jangmi’s mom sat beside the twin’s mom and Jangmi sat between her two parents across from the twins. It seemed as if she was still having difficulty telling the two apart as her eyes darted back and forth between the two faces. Neither of them could take their eyes off her.

“You look beautiful.” Youngmin complimented with a warm smile as he adjusted his tie again. Jangmi thanked him earnestly without saying his name. This was clear evidence she couldn’t tell which twin he was. Kwangmin immediately shot Youngmin a glare. How could someone be so bold as to hurt a girl hours before and still flirt without even apologizing?

“You’re so bipolar.” Kwangmin whispered harshly; not obvious enough for the adults to notice their tension. Youngmin shrugged, sipping more of his cranberry juice.

“It takes more than your petty compliments to win her heart back.” Kwangmin whispered again, only loud enough for Youngmin’s ears. Youngmin took this as a challenge and smirked,

“We’ll see. If you can’t tell, she’s obviously still in love with me.” Kwangmin was now twitching at how conceited his brother was. How in the world could they be twins when they were polar opposites in everything they said and did?

“Are you sure? Right now she can’t even tell us apart.” He rolled his eyes skeptically. Jangmi watched the two of them have their secretive conversation as she nodded in agreement to whatever her mom wanted to order. It was no fun to be left out of everything, nor was it fun to not know which twin was which. Without Youngmin’s crew to help make him shine, he seemed no different than Kwangmin. Other than the fact that their bangs went in opposite directions and one was wearing a tie and the other was wearing a bowtie, she couldn’t tell the difference at all.

“Youngmin-ah stop drinking so much juice! You’re going to be full before the food even comes!” Their mom scolded Youngmin, pulling his glass away from him as well as the pitcher of juice. Youngmin made a pouty face and Kwangmin rolled his eyes. Jangmi clapped her hands together, feeling victorious now that she knew who was who.



When dinner was over, the adults were still talking around the table while the ‘kids’ all agreed to get some fresh air and chat a bit. The moment Kwangmin stepped out of the restaurant he could feel a misty form of rain so they stayed under the extended roof to keep dry. Jangmi sat on the bench right outside the door just star gazing with a smug smile on her face when Youngmin decided to make his move. He sat beside her, pretending to look nervous as he stared at her expression. Kwangmin stood awkwardly three metres away just watching, hoping that Jangmi would be smarter than to fall for his superficial charms. Even she should know how shallow Youngmin was by now—there was no way she would fall for him again. Against the dim moonlight the gems on Jangmi’s hair piece shimmered and her dress glowed. Her pale skin contrasted nicely with the darkness of the night in a mystifying way and her smile only added to how enchanting she was.

“Jangmi,” Youngmin said in a soft voice getting her attention immediately. Her eyes fell on his puppy like face; his eyes displayed nothing but his childish innocence.

“Ne?” She responded in an even softer voice. She was obviously shaken from how close they were as her right hand held onto her left arm. Her natural blush became obvious under the moonlit night and through the silence he could hear her breathing grow faster.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked straight up. There was no explanation not did she bother to ask any questions. They were lost in a separate trance that was their heaven, and Jangmi couldn’t refuse. Nodding with the same warm smile she had on her face, Youngmin grew ecstatic and pulled her in for a hug. The moment they made contact, Kwangmin’s heart dropped and the misty rain grew into a strong rain shower. Droplets were caught in the gentle breeze, blowing slightly diagonally in the direction that Kwangmin stood. His white suit jacket became damp, the back of his hair now dripped rainwater. How could Jangmi be so mindless as to accept Youngmin after what he said? This was the rule of life for them—Kwangmin always finished last.

The newest couple of Namnyeo high school arrived early at school next Tuesday morning and headed straight to the dance room where they met up with Youngmin’s friends who were already there.

“Who’s she?” Donghyun asked rudely, pushing past everyone to greet Youngmin at the door entrance. Casually, Youngmin replied,

“My girlfriend, Kim Jangmi,” She gave them each a nod and smiled her typical smile, still intimidated by Donghyun’s sketchy appearance. He checked her out from head to toe and then gave her a smile of approval.

“She’s the new girl from yesterday, right?” He asked for confirmation. Youngmin nodded, keeping his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders in a possessive fashion.

“Oh? You look prettier today.” Minwoo pointed out as he walked over in a hand stand. Hyunseong pushed him over with brute force, causing him to land on his stomach.

“Pyeontae,” Hyunseong chuckled accusingly at Minwoo who was rubbing his head.

“How am I a pyeontae?” Minwoo questioned annoyingly, jumping on Hyunseong’s back for revenge. They fought with each other like bickering kids, reminding her much of how the twins treated each other when they weren’t in public.

“She’s wearing a skirt and you come and greet her in a hand stand. Are you trying to look up her skirt?” Hyunseong explained shamelessly, pressing a button on the CD player to dismiss the awkward silences. Minwoo stood up, his face slightly tinted pink as he realized his foolish mistake.

“I didn’t mean to…” He mumbled embarrassed. Donghyun joined Hyunseong in the laughter as Youngmin left Jangmi’s side to the middle of their dance floor. With one clap, he drew everyone’s attention and they all took their positions around him. Jangmi didn’t take long to understand why Youngmin was the defined leader. She sat on a wooden bench beside the CD player, watching them closely with her eyes glued to Youngmin. He had a sort of stage charisma that drew in attention despite how equally talented the other members were, and she was certain it wasn’t just due to how she felt about him. Their moves were sharp and well rehearsed. During Minwoo’s dance solo he was even bold enough to give Jangmi a wink which she returned with a wave.

“Yo have you heard? Youngmin found a new girlfriend.” The voice of an anonymous student caught Jangmi’s attention outside the dance room. Her ears perked to eavesdrop further.

“I heard the lucky girl was Hyewon.” A female voice answered. They were probably just hanging out outside the dance room.

“There’s no way she’s Hyewon. Didn’t you see how he rejected her in front of everyone not too long ago?” The male voice disagreed. Jangmi couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation when the music got louder at the climax of their choreography. She diverted her attention back to the group of dancers, smiling widely as they wrapped up their short performance for her.

“What did you think?” Youngmin walked back to Jangmi’s side slightly out of breath but with a proud grin on his face. She gave him a ‘thumbs up’ and he kissed her gently on the forehead.



Kwangmin took his time walking to school with his heavy backpack dragging him down almost as much as his degraded spirit. Even though he knew this to be true his whole life, he never knew it would hurt so much when they finally got together. Jangmi loves Youngmin. That was a fact he couldn’t interfere with, especially not with a personality like his. There was no way he could win her over from a guy who was good at everything that didn’t involve academics. The clouds were gray once again and Kwangmin was determined to get to school before the rain attacked him again. Now running awkwardly with his backpack weighing him down to one side, he grapped onto both straps and charged forward towards the gates.

“Look there’s Youngmin!” A crowd of girls shouted, pointing towards Youngmin and Jangmi up at the rooftops of the school. No one questioned how they got up there; they were just curious to get a grasp of a hot gossip topic. Kwangmin looked up to see the two holding hands, shamelessly expressing their public displays of affection for the world to see. It was slightly disgusting in his eyes, not to mention painful for him to see. Immediately he looked away and entered the school, heading straight for the science department where he anxiously wished to be stuck in his getaway of various experiments involving the use of pH indicators and samples from different areas of the Han River.

“Hey Kwangmin,” Eungyo waved from across the lab room. He knew it was her immediately from her bright red hair. They both had chemistry first period on Tuesdays, but he never noticed her before. In fact, he never paid attention to anyone in any of his classes because he was a loner. Eungyo rushed towards his lab table, bringing over her equipment and lab sheet and automatically listing them as lab partners.

“Have you seen Jangmi this morning?” She asked curiously, pumping Methyl Orange into a separated sample of water.She looked up to catch a glimpse of KWangmin’s nodding, but he never bothered to speak. His eyes were locked on recording the results of their first experiment. The Methyl Orange did not change colors.

“Well, where did you see her?” She continued, asking a question that shouldn’t have been needed.

“On the roof with Youngmin,” He answered immediately in his quiet and shy voice. He took another dropper from the cabinet and pumped Bromythyl Blue into it.

“With Youngmin?” Eungyo asked skeptically as she remembered how Jangmi was dragged away by Youngmin yesterday. Did they seriously have something going on? She wasn’t worried that Youngmin would bully her; she was worried that Youngmin would play her like he did with so many girls the year before. It’s been almost half a year since he last had a girlfriend and people rumored that he gave up on his player life, but it seems like he couldn’t have stayed away from it for too long.

“Are they together?” Eungyo assumed, requesting confirmation from Kwangmin who ignored her question. He mixed the solution with a stirring stick and then grabbed his pencil. Eungyo rolled her eyes, pulling his lab sheet away so that he had to halt the experiment.

“Are they dating?” She asked again, expecting an answer. She had no intentions of returning his sheet before he replied. Kwangmin stared back at her frustrated. This was something he didn’t want on his mind, especially not when he was enjoying himself with the Chemistry lab. In defeat, he nodded and Eungyo immediately returned his lab paper.

“You don’t seem too happy about it.” She observed, wondering if his blank expression was a usual thing. He really was a man of few words, so the whole loner thing wasn’t too hard to understand for her. Without giving eye contact he muttered,

“I’m not.” Eungyo’s sharp ears heard his two worded response.

“Can I ask why?” She wondered in a hushed voice. Everyone else in their class was too busy focusing on their assignment to care even the least about their conversation. The moment she asked, Kwangmin spilt a few droplets of Phenolphthalein on the back of his hands. It was rare for him to make a mistake unless something was bothering him, and Eungyo could assume that to be true from his workaholic behavior. They quickly washed it off as if it were an emergency before it could burn and when the ‘accident’ was over, Eungyo eyed him with suspicion.

“Why are you not okay with them being together?” She asked again. It was annoying how she found herself repeating the same questions for him constantly, but she wanted to know the answers. Putting the dropper down Kwangmin sighed his first vocal confession,

“I like Jangmi,”

Those three words echoed in Eungyo’s ears as she felt the sincerity behind his words. His eyes were filled with the pain of seeing the girl he loved the most with another guy, but not just any guy. It had to be his twin brother. Competition between twins was always known to be the most immense, and to know that he lost without even a fight was embarrassing on his part. After three seconds of eye contact, Kwangmin’s head dropped down to hide his embarrassing expression. He wasn’t sure why he just told Eungyo something he himself couldn’t even vocalize. They hadn’t known each other for very long, but he hoped that telling her wouldn’t be a grave mistake.

“You know what, Kwangmin?” Eungyo beams as if a light bulb lit up over her head. He stared back at her, confused as she slowly shook his head.

“I like you much better than that jerk of a player, Jo Youngmin so I’m going to help you get Jangmi.” She winked, grabbing the dropper from the table and pulling a bottle of distilled water from across the lab counter to clean it off. Kwangmin had no confidence in her words. He considered the possibilities more often than anyone would imagine and in his calculations, there was nothing about him that would draw any girl, let alone Kim Jangmi who loved Youngmin all her life towards him. The one thing Eungyo wanted to stress was that relationships and love didn’t work like mathematical calculations. The unpredictability is what makes her self-appointed mission so exciting.

Jangmi sat beside Eungyo in Japanese class, silently listening to the professor as she stared out the window. The bright sunlight fell on her face and her eyes squinted at the brightness outside. Eungyo beside her was too focused on catching the vocabulary that the professor would quickly erase upon writing down.

“Read pages twelve to seventeen for tomorrow. You have ten more minutes for silent studying before you’re dismissed.” He announced in Korean. The class erupted with relieved sighs and many pulled out their textbooks to get a head start.

“What are you day dreaming about?” Eungyo asked, pulling on Jangmi’s long, brown ponytail. She grabbed her own hair and shook out of her trance, noticing Hyewon approach them.

“Is that even worth asking? She’s thinking of my Youngmin.” Hyewon interrupted with her harsh voice, giving the two a disgusted glare. Her arms were crossed and her face was red with spite.

“Give it up, Hyewon. Your little boy toy has been stolen from you.” Eungyo sighed, flipping open her textbook to avoid unwanted eye contact from their high school’s notable drama queen. Hyewon was enraged, slapping the textbook closed on Eungyo’s hand while keeping her hateful stare on Jangmi.

“You knew Youngmin was mine. How could you be so low as to take him from me?” Hyewon continued her delusional interrogation, “From now on, we’re sworn enemies. Screw you, Kim Jangmi.” She lifted her hand from the textbook cover and marched back to her desk. It didn’t seem like her ranting was able to release any of the hot air in her head. Jangmi sighed, having never felt that Hyewon was a friend to her in the first place.

“Have you even seen Youngmin today?” Eungyo asked in a quieter voice, shaking off the short-lived pain that the textbook cover had inflicted on the back of her hand. Jangmi shook her head, smoothing out a small fold in her skirt.

“He skipped morning classes.” The boy Jangmi recently found to be named Hyunseong came up to them and informed her. He was wearing a red and black plaid shirt with a white T-shirt, his hair black and his stare, serious. It was probably his height that made people cower in intimidation, but after getting to know him briefly Jangmi found that he was quite the gentleman. In fact, the only person she never grew fond of in Youngmin’s group was Donghyun. His shallow attitude would take a lot of getting used to.

“Why?” Jangmi asked, throwing her pencil and eraser in her pencil case and zipping it up. He shrugged,

“He never told any of us. I guess we’ll find out at lunch. Oh,” Hyunseong explained and the suddenly pulled his phone out of his jean pocket. He rapidly pressed on a few buttons and then stuck it back in his pocket,

“He just got to school now. He said he’ll wait outside the dance room.” Jangmi nodded, seeing that the ten minutes of studying had already ended and a quarter of the class was already lined up at the door. Eungyo followed curiously, ignoring the snarl that Hyewon gave them as they passed. She had to stay in class later as punishment for coming in late with only the pathetic excuse of her eye liner smudging to back her up. Hyunseong, Eungyo and Jangmi walked together with Hyunseong slightly at the front, leading them to the dance room. Jangmi spotted a boy about Youngmin’s height with bright blond hair that shimmered against the sunlight, leaning casually against the dance room’s door with headphones on. When they got closer, he turned around and smiled, walking right up to Jangmi and embracing her with a warm hug.

“You skipped class your dye your hair?” Hyunseong laughed, messing up his new hairdo with his hands.

“I had a spare first period anyway, no big deal.” He shrugged, never caring much for academics. Jangmi loved watching the guys interact with each other. Each unique personality made everything they did seem like some comedy show because nothing they did was ever predictable.

“Wasn’t Donghyun with you?” Hyunseong asked, remembering Donghyun’s absence. Youngmin nodded, pointing to the boy down the hall walking slowly towards them with now bright red hair—similar to that of Eungyo’s. Eungyo’s eyes bulged open and she pulled her hood over her head. It was embarrassing to have matching hair with a shallow jerk.

“So why the change?” Hyunseong finally asked, yanking the headphones off his head. Youngmin shrugged again, taking everything lightly as he explained,

“I figured it would make distinguishing me from my timid twin much easier.” He pushed his bangs to the side and smiled. Jangmi had to admit she did still have problems telling them apart, but now with the change in hair color things should be much easier. Eungyo gave Donghyun a deathly glare as he passed her and she pulled Jangmi away with her. Youngmin never noticed that his girlfriend was being dragged away—he was too busy being flattered by the comments about his new hairstyle.

“Let’s go visit Kwangmin.” Eungyo suggested, already heading towards the same isolate lunch table. As expected, he sat quietly by himself with a textbook opened. It didn’t look like he was eating at all.

“Boo!” Jangmi smiled jokingly, grabbing Kwangmin’s attention immediately from his research papers.

“Oh, aren’t you with Youngmin?” he asked more confused than he should have been and began looking around the cafeteria for his brother. Jangmi chuckled, shaking her head. She loved being with both the twins.

“You should go back to him, he’s looking for you.” Kwangmin added, pointing over to Youngmin’s dance group entering the cafeteria. Youngmin’s hair was as bright as the glimmering sun in the sky, drawing more attention than ever. Minwoo looked like a side kick, running up to the insignificant crowd at Kwangmin’s table.

“Oh? Your hair is the same as Donghyun hyung’s.” Minwoo pointed at Eungyo like a curious ten year old. Eungyo rolled her eyes, pulling down on his red cap as she hissed,

“Shut up.” Her vicious personality only showed towards people she thought were too ignorant or oblivious for their own good. Minwoo fixed his cap and then laughed,

“Sorry, Eungyo. Don’t worry I think you look better than hyung with red hair.” He smiled in a sincere way which was opposite to how people like Donghyun would flirt. Out of everyone in their little group, Minwoo never had a reputation for flirting even though many girls mistook his kindness and sincerity for affection. Eungyo gave him a sarcastic laugh and shrugged it off, not wanting to think much of his compliment.

“What’s up, Minwoo?” Jangmi asked casually, getting up from the table. The moment Minwoo arrived Kwangmin stayed frozen in front of his homework, his eyes locked on the same page unwilling to look up. What was it about Youngmin’s friends that intimidated Kwangmin so much?

“Oh right; we were wondering if you would like to hang out with us after school. You can come too if you’d like,” Minwoo finished his invitation with a glance in Eungyo’s direction. Jangmi turned to Eungyo, receiving a subtle nod and then turning back with a smile,

“Sure we’d love to.”

“Great!” Minwoo smiled, giving them both a wave before heading back to his friends. What Jangmi and Eungyo didn’t know was that they had planned to sneak everyone into a club with fake IDs’ made by Donghyun’s shady uncle.

“What are we doing?” Eungyo asked with a yawn after just leaving the school to meet up with Youngmin’s friends. They never answered her and continued in their little circle of conversations. Eungyo yawned again, looking around for any sight of Jangmi. Math class really had a knack for boring people.

“Oh there they are!” Minwoo beamed, pointing to Youngmin and Jangmi who walked hand in hand from the soccer field. No one bothered to ask why they were there in the first place. When the whole gang was together, they began deciding on where to go before their big plans for tonight. It was Friday and Jangmi’s dad knew she was safe with at least one of the twins. Kwangmin exited the school that moment, hugging a stack of paper loosely held together by a paper clip.

“Oh hey Kwangmin!” Jangmi waved from Youngmin’s side, unlocking their hands so that she could. Kwangmin waved back with barely a smile on his face. It always hurt him to see the two together. Since they were nine until now, the hurt was still the same.

“Does Kwangmin want to come along?” Hyunseong suggested, remembering how they never spent even five minutes around Kwangmin. In all honesty they didn’t know much about him except that he was a major science nerd winning first place in the national science fair for two years and aiming for a third. If he was anything like Youngmin he should be capable of fun.

“How about it?” Eungyo added with a smile. If Kwangmin came along maybe something could happen, though she didn’t know what. She just knew that her plan to help him get Jangmi wasn’t going too smooth.

“Forget it. Why waste time asking him? He’s obviously too busy with his nose caught in a science book all day long.” Donghyun rudely concluded, giving Kwangmin a hateful glare. Kwangmin hated Donghyun the most out of all of Youngmin’s friends. If it weren’t for him, maybe he would’ve had a shot at being friends with Minwoo in the least, but because he’s always around Kwangmin never bothered with any of them. Kwangmin looked up to see gray clouds slowly caving in, covering the once blue sky. Was this the rain season in Korea? He took it as a bad omen and quickly refused, struggling to keep the papers under cover as he gave a slight bow goodbye to the group and jogged down the street to his house.

“Aw dammit, it’s going to rain!” Donghyun whined, brushing strands of his red hair. He was as much of a diva as he was an intimidating jock, and he hated the rain not because it was cold but because it ruined his hair. Jangmi looked up to see the vicious rain clouds hanging low in the sky, threatening to start a shower.

“We should probably choose a place to go fast…” Jangmi warned, doubting her decision to hang out with them today of all days. It was such a nice day in the morning no one would’ve ever guessed it would turn so dull and windy.

“Hey, who’s hungry?” Minwoo asked, lighting the mood up with his naturally optimistic personality. Everyone put their hand up except for Donghyun, but since they took it as a democracy they decided to find a place to eat. Minwoo suggested a cozy casual restaurant just two bus stops away and everyone agreed. At the bus stop, they could feel that the wind was picking up speed. Jangmi struggled to hold her skirt down and Eungyo shivered in one spot with her hands rubbing against her arms with hopes of causing enough friction to generate even a small ounce of heat. Hyunseong was busy calling the bus stop for the bus schedules and Youngmin was digging for bus change in his backpack.

“Cold?” Minwoo asked politely, pulling his red jacket off and placing it around Eungyo’s shoulders. She grabbed onto the jacket and smiled, trying her best to not be fooled by his kind gesture. It was a gentleman-like thing to do—it didn’t mean anything! Though Jangmi was in a skirt, she didn’t feel too cold because of her long cardigan and decorative scarf. She never planned that fashion would be keeping her warm on an unexpectedly cold day. Though winter hadn’t hit yet, it felt as if it were coming early this year.



~~~

Kwangmin had finally gotten a job at a restaurant not too far from where he lived. IT was a few bus stops away but he would have no problem getting there on a daily basis. Today was his first training day so it would be quite slack. He felt nervous and proud at the same time, putting on a name tag as he grabbed some change from a jar by his door and headed out. The sky stayed threateningly gray, making him remember to grab an umbrella along the way. Checking that he had his house key, cell phone, umbrella and change, he headed out the door. The bus came almost immediately after he arrived at the stop. It felt like it was his lucky day as he stepped in, stuck the change in the box and took a seat near the front.

The ride felt short and soon enough he found himself getting off at the stop just one block down from where he was newly employed. His manager advised him to go in through the back, so he walked to the side of the building and looked for the back door. There was an employee parking lot behind and the back door to the restaurant conveniently painted bright red for him to see. As he headed up the small plight of stairs and reached for the knob, he caught site of a guy with red hair talking to a taller, gruffly looking man with a cigarette hanging off the side of his mouth. The taller man handed the red head an envelope and went back into his car. When the red head finally turned to walk away, Kwangmin could see that it was Donghyun that just made some sort of trade with a suspicious man. Donghyun ignored Kwangmin, probably not noticing he was there as usual, and headed back into the restaurant.

“Perhaps… drugs?” Kwangmin gasped, slapping away his thoughts. He would worry about the bad company Youngmin had after his first day of training. Kwangmin stretched out his hands and turned the door knob once to open, entering the kitchen as the sweet smell of Korean cuisine hit his nose all at once.

~~~

The crew sat at a large table, waiting for their food that they had already ordered. Jangmi sat beside Youngmin and Eungyo across from Hyunseong while Minwoo sat on the other side of Eungyo. Donghyun said he was going for a bathroom break and when he finally came back to the table, a few backs stiffened and Eungyo coughed loudly, turning away. It was his conceited presence that brought uneasiness into the air. In a hushed whisper, Donghyun announced,

“I got the IDs,” as he pulled out the envelope from his jacket pocket and opened it, dumping out seven fake ID cards onto the table. Hyunseong handed everyone their respective fake IDs and smiled, checking out his picture.

“Not half bad; this actually looks pretty legit.” Hyunseong complimented, holding it up against the light.

“As legit as it looks, if cops were to check us we’d be screwed so let’s play it low, alright?” Donghyun warned, shoving the fake ID into his wallet. Jangmi and Eungyo both took their and stared at it, having no idea what was coming.

“What are these for?” Jangmi asked stupidly, having a bad feeling about whatever they were planning. Why did Donghyun bring up the police? She had no intentions of doing anything illegal, and she was sure Eungyo didn’t either.

“Don’t worry about it, Jangmi.” Youngmin reassured, placing a comforting hand on top of hers that held the ID card. He gave her a smile and she immediately fell for his charms, not asking anymore questions.

“She’s going to find out eventually so you might as well just tell her now. It’s not like we have anything better to do.” Donghyun snorted, crossing his arms. Youngmin thought about it for a second and nodded. She would find out anyways, so he should just tell her.

“Tonight we’re going to sneak into a club.” He whispered loud enough for Eungyo and Jangmi to hear.

“What the hell?!” Eungyo said in a loud voice, gathering the attention of every customer in the dining room.

“Yo, could you be any louder? Shut the hell up.” Donghyun scolded, reaching his hand across the table to cover her mouth. She quickly slapped it away, her eyes throwing daggers at him.

“I should’ve realized why you guys always gave off a bad vibe. You can do what you want, but Jangmi and I are not going to be in on this.” Eungyo declared, grabbing Jangmi harshly by the wrist and pulling her up from their sitting position. Jangmi on the other hand was hesitant to follow.

“Tch, I knew you two were pansies. Fine, don’t come along. We don’t give a crap.” Donghyun shot back, slamming his hand on the table. The tension was rising but none of the waiters were willing to interfere. Eungyo turned away, still holding onto Jangmi’s wrist but Jangmi was trying to pull away.

“Jangmi, let’s go.” Eungyo mouthed, nudging her chin towards the door. Why wasn’t Jangmi following? Youngmin had grabbed onto Jangmi’s left hand, keeping her locked in place. Eungyo didn’t want this to become a human tug of war game so she let go with a sigh.

“Just because you’re her boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re her dictator. Let her choose what she wants to do.” Eungyo rolled her eyes, folding her arms as she shot Youngmin an annoyed glare. They weren’t kids anymore, he should know better than to be so childish.

“Fine,” He let go of Jangmi’s wrist and looked her in the eyes with a mesmerizing smile, “Are you going to leave with her or stay here with me?”

~~~

“You’re done all the basic tutorials and will start work tomorrow evening. You’re still required to stay here for two more hours but you can choose what you want to help out with.” Kwangmin’s new co-worker informed, fixing the bow on his apron as he left Kwangmin for the storage room. Kwangmin hadn’t been to the dining room yet but he had heard from several waiters about the ruckus going on. Curious, he slid the door separating the kitchen from the dining room a tad bit and saw Donghyun standing stiff with his bright red hair and Eungyo, her balance slightly leaning backwards with a displeased expression. Youngmin let go of Jangmi’s wrist and smiled at her.

“Are you going to leave with her or stay here with me?” Youngmin asked in her sweet boy tone. Kwangmin had never seen a girl deny that tone of voice before, especially from Youngmin. He had a strange way with women that made all his past girlfriends seem more like puppets than people, but now that it was Jangmi’s turn, he felt furious.

“Just let her go, Youngmin. There’s no way a good girl like her will agree to slip into a club illegally with us, especially now that her best friend is throwing a hissy fit.” Donghyun tried to convince Youngmin but was ignored. Kwangmin gasped, covering his mouth with both hands. What did Donghyun just say they were going to do? He knew Youngmin’s friends were bad but breaking the law was low on a whole different level. The envelope he saw Donghyun receive from the mysterious man laid ripped open on their table and Eungyo’s fake ID was resting on top.

“Jangmi, this is a bad idea! I don’t care how enchanted you are by that blond devil—you can’t do this!” Eungyo was now begging; worried for Jangmi. How could she be so stupid at a time like this? The right answer was under her nose, the right decision obvious to anyone but her right now.

“I…” Jangmi muttered, but she herself didn’t know who to choose. Why did it have to become like this?

“Ah, Kwangmin!” Minwoo coughed, causing everyone’s eyes to turn to Kwangmin who was standing in between the door to the kitchen. His eyes were wide open in confusion and horror.

“Ignore him.” Youngmin ordered, the authority in his voice stung everyone’s ears and they obeyed immediately, turning back to Jangmi. One last time he asked,

“What will you do, Kim Jangmi?” It felt as if he were putting their relationship on the line. She never wished to make a decision like this.

“Jangmi,” Kwangmin interrupted her complex thoughts with his soothing, calm but soft voice, “Don’t do it.” Kwangmin had never told her to do anything in her life. No matter what side she chose Kwangmin had always been on her side and she grew so accustomed to it that she began taking his sincerity for granted. Now that he finally made a request, she couldn’t ignore it.

“Forget it. Do what you want; we’re leaving now.” Youngmin’s mouth curved into a frown, knowing that Kwangmin’s appearance made her decision ten times more difficult. He didn’t want to waste time with her right now, so he stood up and expected everyone to just follow him. Donghyun was right behind him, always being the star supporter to whatever rebellious activity they did and Hyunseong followed obediently more like a dog.

“Wait guys,” Minwoo called out, not moving an inch from the table. The three of them turned to give Minwoo their attention. Swiftly, he pulled the fake ID from his pocket and threw it at Donghyun’s face.

“Count me out.” He said in a stern voice, pushing past the three from the door and heading down on his own path. This was the first time Minwoo ever disagreed with their decisions—the first time he ever disrespected Youngmin. Youngmin ignored Minwoo’s harsh shove and turned to look at Jangmi, seeing intricate tears roll down her small face. She was looking straight at him, cheeks red and eyes swollen. Sitting there by herself, the only word he could think of to describe her was pathetic. Keeping his expression careless he turned and left in the opposite direction that Minwoo had gone. His entourage of two obediently followed.

Kwangmin and Eungyo waited with Jangmi at the bus stop down the street from the restaurant. Her crying subsided but the previous conflict left her in a speechless state and her mind unrest. Kwangmin watched her carefully, unsure of what to say to make things better. It was like this when they were younger too, whenever Youngmin did something to hurt her she would end up at Kwangmin’s side sulking and Kwangmin would have no idea what to do but just simply be there. She looked up and turned to face him, her sorrowful eyes caused a sort of aching in his chest as he gulped.

“There’s no way Youngmin and I can still be together right?” She asked skeptically, praying that Kwangmin would give her an answer she wanted to hear—that they still had a chance.

“You can’t possibly still want to be with that douche—“Eungyo gasped but was interrupted by Kwangmin’s quiet voice.

“I don’t know, Jangmi. When it comes to things like this… I really don’t know.” He sighed, finding nothing more appropriate than the truth. She nodded and then turned to Eungyo with a weak smile.

“I know you don’t have a good impression of Youngmin, but I know there’s more to him than what you’ve seen, so don’t call him that, okay?” Jangmi explained, her eyes starting to water again. Eungyo had never seen such a weak and naïve girl in her life. It was girls like this that she hated the most, the ones that surrounded their mind in fake delusions that men can make them happy and even after being heartbroken they still cling on like lost sheep. Eungyo distasted it, but there was something different about Jangmi that made Eungyo want to stick around. Yes, she was a complete imbecile for falling for a jerk face like Youngmin, but she wasn’t obliviously stupid. And that’s what set her apart from Hyewon.

“I don’t understand,” Eungyo retorted, “After what just happened; how could you defend him?” It was a sad sight to see, a girl defending the very guy that had just hurt her.

“It’s hard to believe right now, but Youngmin really is a good guy. I’ve seen that part of him with my own eyes, and that’s why I don’t want to give up.” Jangmi explained further, now looking up at the darkened sky. Youngmin and his two pals were probably at the club by now doing whatever they had originally planned. God knows where Minwoo went.

“Youngmin,” Kwangmin began, his expression hidden in the shadows, “Isn’t going to change back. The life he’s living right now is all he knows and nothing anyone says or does is going to change that about him.” Ever since Jangmi left them when they were only nine, he never was the same. He never had someone to cheer him on every time he made a mistake, he lost the one person who made him feel like he was an all star even when he really amounted to nothing. She was the one that built his pride up to where it had been and the moment she left without a word, it all came crashing down. They entered their rebellious preteen years and Youngmin and Kwangmin’s mom had given them both the benefit of the doubt, allowing them freedom to go wherever they wanted at the early age of twelve. Youngmin had been a loner for a short period of his life but what set him apart from Kwangmin was that he chose that path—he had never been out casted by society. All in all, the fact that Jangmi left without an explanation and without saying goodbye angered him because as much as Jangmi meant to Kwangmin back then, she meant just the same to Youngmin. She was the only friend the two of them had, and suddenly she was gone. Having his heart broken as a kid really changed how he grew up thinking all girls were unreliable and would only leave in the end. That explained why no matter how perfect his girlfriend seemed he would break it off before she would have the chance to leave him, just like Jangmi did. Now that she was back, Kwangmin could only imagine that he wanted revenge for how she left him. He just didn’t know how to explain it so that she would understand. Love blinds people—Kwangmin knew that well.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Jangmi sniffed, feeling her cell phone vibrate in her hand. She slid her phone open to see that Youngmin had sent her a text message of apology. It wasn’t a long explanation, just a short and sweet ‘Sorry for what happened today’. It was hard to comprehend the level of sincerity in words sent through a text message, but to Jangmi it was enough for her to believe what she planned was possible. Eungyo had been nosily peeking over her shoulder to read the message, initiating a face palm from behind her back. How naïve could this girl be? The bus came and the three got on, enduring a ride filled with awkward silence until Eungyo’s stop came.

“I’ll be going first. See you on Monday, okay?” Eungyo waved, hopping off her seat and out the back doors of the bus. This left an empty seat beside Jangmi who stared mindlessly out the window. Kwangmin wasn’t courageous enough to fill in that empty space. When they got to their designated bus stop, Jangmi noticed a boy with blonde hair leaning against the pole with the bus stop numbers. When the bus got closer, Jangmi was certain it was Youngmin. Still unsure of what to say to him, she excitedly ran off the bus forgetting that Kwangmin was with her.

“Oh, you came,” Youngmin yawned with a tired smile, standing straight and fixing the ruffle on the sleeve of his sweater. Kwangmin stepped off moments later and exchanged a cautious stare with Youngmin before continuing to their house, not wanting to stay and eavesdrop. As far as he was concerned their relationship had nothing to do with him.

“So, did you guys have fun at that club?” Jangmi asked awkwardly, not sparing Kwangmin a glance as he walked away. Youngmin rubbed the back of his neck and admitted,

“We never went. The mood was bad already…”

“Sorry…” Jangmi apologized; it was the only thing she could think of to say. The guys had a fun night planned out but her indecisiveness ruined it.

“Don’t be. How about we go to the amusement park tomorrow?” Youngmin offered, holding up two tickets. They were legit and Jangmi’s eyes lit up as she nodded happily.

~~~

“Kim Jangmi… You’re such an idiot sometimes.” Eungyo mumbled to herself as she strolled down a secluded path leading towards the Han River. Her house wasn’t far, and her favourite pass time was taking long walks at night, star gazing or skipping pebbles. It was the fresh air that really helped her mind straighten things out. Seeing the cement path ending, she knew that the Han River was just over a small hill and she kept her steady pace, picking up a flat, round pebble she saw at her feet.

“Perfect,” She smiled, imagining the skips that this perfect rock could do. When she reached the peak of the tall hill, she could see a boy with a red cap squatting at the side of the river, his hand brushing back and forth in the water. This area of the Han River wasn’t too well known to the public, and usually the only people she would ever catch here would be those maintenance guys checking on technical issues with the dams. Most people preferred the opposite side of the River that the media would tend to show off in magazines and photos as the romantic spots with the bright lights and fireworks. Eungyo felt a cold chill down her spine but she continued walking towards him in almost a tiptoe, her shoes making no sound on the soft grass. When she was no further than three feet away, the boy shifted his head to the side giving her a clear view of his profile. There was no doubt it was Minwoo. She tactfully crept up from behind and tossed the rock skillfully into the water, watching it skim the surface and skip over eight times before sinking in. Minwoo’s eyes were planted at the same spot on the river and startled, he almost tumbled in.

“Eungyo?” He gasped, now flat on his butt on the grass. From up close she could see his subtle shivers from the cool night winds. He wore only a white v neck because he had lent Eungyo his jacket earlier. She quickly slipped it off and passed it back to Minwoo who gratefully accepted it.

“Did you stalk me or something?” Minwoo asked suspiciously, fitting his arms into the sleeves of his sweater. She rolled her eyes and thumped him on the forehead.

“Do you see me as desperate? This is my thinking spot.” She answered, taking a seat beside him as she stretched out her legs and sighed. The sky was especially clear tonight and the moon was a perfect crescent shape. It was one of those perfect nights that she always wished to spend with a guy, laying flat on their backs star gazing.

“It’s really peaceful out here.” Minwoo agreed, taking a deep whiff of the fresh air. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“Do you mind if I ask why you ran off earlier?” Eungyo began nervously, knowing that she might be touching a sensitive topic.

“I didn’t run off,” He disagreed to protect whatever was left of his pride, “I was just so sick of everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Donghyun, Youngmin and maybe even Hyunseong—the things they do are just so outrageous. Sometimes I really wonder why I did half the stupid things I did with them.” Minwoo cringed, probably remembering something painful.

“In freshman year, Youngmin and I were best friends. Even Kwangmin was comfortable around us but when Donghyun came along, everything started falling apart. He was an obvious bad influence on everyone, but Youngmin insisted that we stick with him. Hyunseong came afterwards and even now he’s not seen as much more than a follower, but everything has its limits.” Minwoo continued explaining; his hands clenching into fists. Eungyo had to agree that she noticed the tension between those two in particular.

“Before all that, Youngmin told me briefly about a girl named Kim Jangmi,” He began his story that appealed especially to Eungyo’s ears.

“He told me about how disappointed he was with her for leaving without saying anything. It was the least she could’ve done but she left without a word. He swore that the day she came back he would make her feel the hurt that he’s been through.” Minwoo ended with a sigh, realizing how dumb Youngmin’s logic was. They were nine years old and even he knew mistakes like that deserved a second chance.

“So you think this is why Youngmin is with Jangmi right now? To terrorize her?” Eungyo asked for confirmation, plucking out a handful of grass beside her.

“At first he just didn’t want to bother when he saw her again, but something happened that changed his mind. Donghyun over the years really turned him into a shallow guy. He doesn’t even have a sense of what’s right or wrong anymore.” He shook his head disapprovingly. He hated that this was what his best friend became. He even hated himself somewhat for not stepping in earlier, but now he was just known as the underdog that no one cared much for an opinion from.

“I don’t know Jangmi very well, but I know that she doesn’t deserve the pain that Youngmin has planned for her very soon. When he leaves her broken to pieces; who’s going to help put her back together again?” He sighed, looking Eungyo dead in the eyes.

“Kwangmin will,” Eungyo suggested, though she promised not to tell a soul about how he felt towards her.

“Jo Kwangmin? Youngmin’s timid brother?” Minwoo asked in disbelief. She nodded, explaining Kwangmin’s side of the story that she had only heard once but never forgot. Even though Minwoo was friends with the shady crowd, she knew that he could trust him. If she could trust anyone right now, it was him.

Youngmin and Jangmi met up outside the amusement park. He had promised her a fairly romantic date with just the two of them for the whole day; it was almost as if the day before had never happened. They went on many rides and laughed together, but somehow it only felt like Jangmi was having fun. Youngmin was there, he was laughing and smiling, but it didn’t seem happy. After a crazy roller coaster ride they decided on taking a break and took a seat at a picnic bench near the concession.

“I’m going to go to the washroom. I’ll be right back.” Youngmin advised, waving her goodbye before he got up and headed for the restrooms. When he was too far into the crowd to be seen, she turned back to watch the terrified faces of people going upside down on the fireball.

“Oh? Jangmi, you’re here?” Minwoo called from a short distance away. He had on a name tag labeled “Dip n’ dots” so she assumed it his part time job.

“Yeah, I came here with Youngmin.” She smiled, sweeping her bangs back to one side with her hand. He nodded with acknowledgement, wondering how she was so quick to forgive him. Minwoo had a feeling he would pull a jerk move again, but his break was ending so he had to go.

“Have fun, I’ll see you around later.” He called, rushing back to his ice cream station. She smiled as she waved, obliviously sitting alone at the bench waiting for Youngmin to come back. After thirsty minutes of waiting, she began to wonder whether or not he would.

~~~

“Youngmin Oppa! Surprise!” An annoying voice beamed the moment Youngmin exited the men’s washroom. He was so startled he nearly tripped down the stairs.

“Oh my god, did you stalk me here?” He asked; irritated. Hyewon winked at him and shook her head.

“I saw Minwoo around so I figured you would be two. Seriously, sometimes I’d rather you date Minwoo than that skanky Jangmi girl.” Hyewon rambled, immediately clinging onto Youngmin’s arms. He tried to shake her away but gave up. Though he hadn’t planned to ditch Jangmi at the amusement park today, he had a feeling that maybe ditching her would be a good idea. It just sucked that Hyewon had to be involved.

“Minwoo is here?” Youngmin asked, hoping that if he found him he would be saved. Hyewon was a lot more impulsive when Youngmin was alone; the least she could do was tell him where Minwoo was.

“Win me a teddy bear and I’ll tell you.” She blackmailed with a smirk, pointing to a game with stuff bears hanging from the racks.

“Are you serious?” He complained, annoyed at how childish Hyewon was. They were high school seniors; why couldn’t she just act like one?

“Please oppa,” Hyewon begged with puppy eyes, pulling Youngmin towards the carnival game involuntarily.

~~~

“Here you go, enjoy!” Minwoo smiled, handing a young boy a cup of banana split Dip N’ Dots. The line up finally died down and he was relieved that he could take a breather. Though his stand sold ice cream, he couldn’t stop the fact that he was sweating an ocean in his apron and visor. It was an embarrassing trait that he had—sweating. He took a stack of napkins from under the counter and began fanning himself, looking out to see little kids playing tag around their parents, two couples holding hands as they waited in line for the ‘Drop of Doom’. His eyes panned to the right, stopping at a popular water shooting game when he spotted someone he could never mistake—Youngmin. It wasn;t the fact that he was there that shocked him, it was the reality that Jangmi wasn’t the one beside him cheering him on, but Hyewon instead. The obnoxious gossip queen of Namnyeo high school was jumping happily beside Youngmin as he grabbed the blue fuzzy bear off the counter and handed it to her. She nearly tackled him with a hug and surprisingly, his arms rose to return the embrace.

“What the…” Minwoo mumbled, angry that even though he knew Youngmin was capable of doing something low he would stoop down to that level just to hurt Jangmi. Ignoring the middle aged woman on the other side of the counter, he slapped one of his sleeping coworkers awake and threw him the apron, ripping his visor off and tossing it onto the ground. He was storming towards the two, fists clenched and teeth gritting as Hyewon pointed towards him.

“There he is,” She announced nervously. Not many people have ever seen Minwoo mad before. He held the reputation of being one of the kinder gentlemen of Youngmin’s group, but now that he was fuming in front of them she was terrified.

“Where’s Jangmi?” Minwoo asked straight up, ignoring Hyewon’s presence completely.

“What do you mean?” Youngmin asked, trying to play stupid. Surely Minwoo has no proof that he came here with Jangmi to begin with. The two of them hadn’t left on good terms that Friday night in the first place, so starting conflict right now would only lead to more tension. Evidently enough, Minwoo didn’t care.

“Seriously Youngmin, who the hell do you think you are?” Minwoo demanded, taking another step closer as he took a step back.

“Yo seriously, chill. What is up with you?” Youngmin was belittling the situation as he looked Minwoo right in the eyes. He’s never opposed Youngmin before, and with this being a first, no one kenw what would happen.

“You’re really pathetic, you know?” Minwoo continued, pushing Hyewon away when she tried to interfere. She was the one that was out of place.

“What happened between you and Jangmi, I heard it all. To be honest you’re just over exaggerating the situation to make her seem like such the antagonist when she doesn’t deserve to be treated like crap at all.” He accused, causing Youngmin to grow angry. This was a fight between best friends that Hyewon never wanted to see.

“You don’t know anything.” Youngmin denied, shoving Minwoo back a little. Even if Youngmin was ready to start a fist fight Minwoo knew that this just wasn’t worth it.

“You know what?” Minwoo began, pulling Hyewon beside Youngmin so that their shoulders touched, “You two really look good together. Trash should date trash. Have a happy life.” Hyewon was outraged having been insulted by Minwoo. It wasn’t the first time she’s been called trash, but hearing it from him just made things seem much worse. After Minwoo walked away, Youngmin pushed her away and warned before leaving her,

“Stay away from me.”

~~~

Minwoo made his way back to the picnic bench where he knew Jangmi would still be waiting and sure enough, she was there slightly dozing off with her cell phone in her hand. This girl’s stupidity would get her in a lot of trouble one day. He made sure that she wouldn’t be able to see him from where he was and pulled out his own cell phone, dialing Kwangmin’s number in the shadows of secrecy behind a large sound pillar.

“Yeoboseyo?” Kwangmin answered almost immediately. His side of the line was pure silence so he was probably in the school library on a Saturday or his room.

“Kwangmin,” Minwoo informed, “Come to the amusement part by the west extrance and pick up Jangmi would you?” Kwangmin recognized his voice immediately and suspected a trap. Minwoo had been loyal to Youngmin since freshmen year and it was during that time that the twins started getting on bad terms with each other. He wanted nothing to do with Youngmin’s friends, so why was Minwoo calling now?

“I’m studying.” Kwangmin answered ready to hang up when Minwoo pleaded,

“You’re always studying! An hour of break won’t kill you. Jangmi really needs you right now.” And with that, Minwoo hung up. Surely, Kwangmin would come. He poked his head from behind the pillar and saw that Jangmi was now on the phone. The crowd died down because of a dog show held at the grand stadium so he could hear her from where he was.

“Mm, Eungyo,” She spoke casually into her cell phone, “I came with Youngmin but I think he ditched me.” It was painful to hear her say these sad words so effortlessly, as if it was a regular thing that she was used to. How much would it take for Jangmi to finally realize what a jerk Youngmin was? At this point, Minwoo couldn’t even see Youngmin as a human. Who on Earth would have the heart to treat their first love like this? Though Minwoo never fell for anyone before, he knew it was wrong.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to come. I’ll leave in a bit. Okay,” She nodded before hanging up with a sigh. She stuck her cell phone back into her purse and made a quick scan around, noticing the crowds shrinking with every passing minute. It’s been almost an hour; she couldn’t still have hope that he’d come back for her, could she?

“Jangmi!” Kwangmin gasped, running through the west gate towards her. Minwoo let out a sigh of relief and walked back to his ice cream stand where he was sure he would get a lot of heck for ditching his evening shift. Jangmi immediately stood up, surprised but somehow relieved.

“Why are you alone?” He asked, sure that no girl would come to a place like this by herself. Jangmi had always been a people person and hated being alone so the only logical reason would be that Youngmin left her. She didn’t have to say it for him to know.

“Thanks for coming for me.” Jangmi smiled, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She never questioned how he knew to come or why, she was just thankful he was there like he always was. She seldom cried in front of Youngmin because she hated showing him how weak she was, but for some reason in front of Kwangmin she didn’t care. She would cry her heart out for hours and Kwangmin would still treat her the same. That was what she liked about him, and she was glad that at least that stayed the same.

Kwangmin walked closely beside her, worried that she would collapse at any second from the looks of her crooked and unsteady walk. He was counting on an early arrival from the bus to relieve him but before they could get to the bus stop, Jangmi insisted she wanted to walk. They had the entire afternoon and evening, maybe even nighttime to get home. What she didn’t want was to be bombarded with questions from her parents about why she came back alone or even Eungyo who never truly supported her choice to be with Youngmin. They strolled down a path beside the main road, occasionally shaded by overhanging trees for forced urban greenery. Kwangmin, though, was always awkwardly one step behind. Jangmi’s tearing subsided but she was still suffering the aftershock of a bad epiphany.

“Today’s really strange.” Jangmi observed, her eyes darted upwards towards the clear blue afternoon sky.

“Hm?” Kwangmin asked a little flustered. He could never really think of good responses when prompted. Jangmi turned her head around to examine Kwangmin’s nervous face before explaining,

“It seems like every time I’m with you the clouds will start to turn gray and the rain will start to fall. It’s strange that the sky is still clear right now.” Kwangmin himself glanced upwards only to be blinded by the blazing rays of the sun.

“Oh, really…” Kwangmin mumbled, biting his lip as he realized her assumption to be true. He knew she didn’t mean it as an insult but only a light ice breaker to lighten up the dark atmosphere she had previously created.

“It was like this even when we were little, remember?” Jangmi continued, keeping her walking pace slow but much more stable than earlier. Kwangmin remembered—he remembered how they parted eight years ago at the beaten down, abandoned playground not far from where they still lived. Why did it have to be like that? Why did his presence always bring forth a rainstorm?

“What do you think of me?” She suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had slowly crept in. He wasn’t prepared to answer something like this, and she had never asked anything so personal before. Jangmi had always had a feeling that Kwangmin felt more towards her than just friendship, but it was her own pathological ignorance that allowed her to turn a blind eye towards him. She took every kind gesture as something he ought to do, and for that she felt sorry, but despite all that she was still unwilling to acknowledge his feelings; all because a part of her still had hope in Youngmin.

“You don’t have to answer.” She added, noticing his reluctance to open his mouth. Sighing, she turned her gaze away and walked forward to be now two steps ahead. Kwangmin made no effort to catch up.

~~~

The weekend went by coldly with little or no contact between two households. Youngmin wasn’t sure if Jangmi had forgiven him for standing her up but even his guts had limitations. This was a step in messing with her heart, and he had a perfect plan to ‘make it up to her’. Monday was going to be a big day.

“Jangmi-ah, how was your date on Saturday?” Eungyo asked casually, showing only slight interest as she pulled open her Japanese notebook. Eungyo paid no attention to the pages assigned to read nor did she do her homework, but Japanese was just an extra class to fill up space so she really didn’t care. Jangmi shrugged in response, fiddling with a lead pencil in her hand but not sparing her a glance. Eungy could tell immediately that their meeting didn’t go well. Once a jerk always a jerk and he was capable of hurting her without shame. Still not paying attention in class, she pulled out her cell phone and browsed through old pictures she took back in Japan. Without noticing the vibration to alert the arrival of a text message, her eyes caught sight of the small envelope like thumbnail beside the digital time on her screen. She quickly scrolled to her inbox and she froze when she saw the name; Jo Youngmin. They hadn’t spoken since that incident on Saturday, but now he was casually texting her like nothing had happened. It was a shameless action, but she tried not to think much of it.

“What’s up with you?” Eungyo pondered, slamming her notebook closed and glancing over at Jangmi’s cell phone screen.

“Youngmin—“

“I’ve been trying to understand what you see in that kid all weekend and honestly, I don’t get it. He’s got a conceited personality and does things shamelessly. How can anyone stand a guy like him? I… tried to let him off since you said you believed in him and you wanted me to see the good in him but after what happended with Minwoo and everything I really don’t understand.” Eungyo burst, getting straight to the point as irritation took over.

“Yah, don’t you dare badmouth Youngmin.” Hyunseong turned around angrily to defend his ‘master’.

“Stay out of this; you’re just another one of his little followers with no backbone.” Eungyo pushed him away with her words and kept her attention on Jangmi. Her idiocy needed to end. Ignoring Eungyo’s outburst she explained,

“He wants me to go to the gymnasium at lunch.” Eungyo breathed out heavily in disbelief and pushed her bangs back with her right hand.

“Don’t go.” She said almost commandingly. She knew she was in no position to tell Jangmi what to do or not do with her boyfriend, but she just felt a bad vibe about it. Something bad would happen, she was sure of it.

“I’m going to go, Eungyo.” Jangmi insisted; her expression was indifferent but stern at the same time.

“Geurae, do what you want.” Eungyo surrendered and returned her focus to the thick textbook in front of her.

~~~

At lunch time, Eungyo headed straight to Kwangmin’s table making it there first and taking a seat directly across from where Kwangmin always sat. She was irritated at how every friend she made ended up falling head over heels for an ignorant jerk, which resulted in her distance from Chanmi ever since Jangmi showed up. They were still friends, just not as close anymore.

“Why is the mood so dark here?” A familiar, upbeat voice asked from behind her. She shifted her head to the right to see Minwoo plop onto the empty seat beside her with his usual optimistic smile. He never wore a hat today like he usually preferred, and to Eungyo he looked more handsome that way.

“I’m just a little irritated today; it’s nothing.” She admitted, crossing her arms over the table as her head slowly sank. She didn’t want to be a whiner, but she didn’t want to pretend that she was happy.

“Is it about Jangmi?” Minwoo assumed, taking a bite out of the apple that was in his hand. If she didn’t know any better she would guess that he was on a diet from the lack of protein in his lunch but she wasn’t in the mood to tease. Only recently did it hit her that something was wrong. Why was Minwoo sitting here rather than jumping around, breaking it down on the dance floor with his usual crew? Now her growing curiosity was getting the best of her as she watched him happily eat his apple glancing here and there. No one would ever guess that anything was wrong.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Minwoo asked jokingly, wiping invisible dust off his left cheek when he noticed Eungyo’s curious stare.

“Ani,” Eungyo laughed light-heartedly. Minwoo had a charm for lifting bad moods, “I’m just wondering why you’re here, that’s all.” She poked a hole in her juice box with the plastic straw and started taking a sip.

“It’s not fun around Youngmin and them anymore.” Minwoo admitted briefly, avoiding all details as he kept a steady smile on his face. He really was the master of hiding things. Kwangmin joined them shortly, slightly alarmed that his lunch hour company grew over the weekend. He was just glad it was Minwoo and not Donghyun.

“Where’s Jangmi?” Kwangmin managed to muster up enough courage to ask. Minwoo shrugged, finishing up his apple and chucking the apple core into the garbage can effortlessly.

“I heard everyone was going to the gymnasium.” Minwoo shrugged casually, not thinking much of it.

“Youngmin told her to go there at the start of lunch.” Eungyo remembered, now feeling the need to see what was going on. The cafeteria was emptier than usual, so it couldn’t be something small. The three of them rushed to the gym and were shocked to see the pull out stage set up with the loud speakers marking the sides.

“What’s going on?” Eungyo muttered, noticing Youngmin standing up on stage with a microphone in his hand. Kwangmin was first to spot Jangmi sitting to the left of the stage right next to the speakers, smiling foolishly as she eyed her boyfriend on stage. The music started, a cool, calm melody filled the entire gym as the crowds swayed side to side, waiting for Youngmin’s voice to form a perfect harmony. The moment he lifted the microphone to his lips and sang; the crowds in the back grew frustrated. They couldn’t hear him; the microphone wasn’t on. Confused, he took a quick look to see that the switch on the individual microphone was on and then shot a desperate glance at the tech crew behind the stage. They gave him a worried shrug, meaning that everything should be working fine. Youngmin tapped on his three times and began expecting it at every angle. Jangmi watched him obliviously, waiting for the sound to go back on when Youngmin accidently pointed the microphone directly at the speakers, causing a high pitch screeching noise. It didn’t occur to Youngmin that his microphone direction was causing it until five seconds after and once the screeching stopped, the entire crowd was complaining. The smooth sound of the music coming back on quieted them down again and this time, the microphone worked fine. Youngmin’s warm voice filled the room and heads were swaying once again. He was too caught up enjoying the limelight to glance at the girl he had dedicated everything this noon to.

“His singing isn’t that bad…” Eungyo nodded, watching Youngmin capture the crowd’s ears effortlessly. Minwoo, though wasn’t completely on good terms with Youngmin again had to admit this performance wasn’t bad.

“Something’s not right.” Kwangmin noted, his breathing grew rapid as he started sprinting onto the stage. It was unbelievable that no one but him had noticed Jangmi’s struggling. When Kwangmin got closer he saw that her eyes were tearing up as her hands covered her ears, then fell back to her lap. She was cringing in her seat, her head shaking back and forth.

“Jangmi,” Kwangmin called, now beside her. Eungyo and Minwoo caught on and rushed to her side after Kwangmin.

“Jangmi!” Eungyo called out much louder than Kwangmin did. Her voice broke the audience’s attention and brought all eyes to Jangmi.

“Wae irae?” Kwangmin asked, holding her steady by her shoulders to force her shaking to stop. He was certain it wasn’t a seizure.

“An deulryeo…” Jangmi mumbled, tears pouring down her face at the fact that she herself couldn’t hear her own voice.

“An… deulryeo?” Kwangmin repeated, not believing the quiet words that had reluctantly escaped from Jangmi’s lips. She was trembling in her seat, her bottom lip quivering like a lost puppy, her face drenched in her own salty tears.

“Why is she crying?” Youngmin dropped his microphone immediately, allowing it to crash hard into the smooth surface of the pull out stage. He sat on the edge of the bench beside Jangmi, ignoring the anxious and worried crowd, trying to get her to look at him. But she wouldn’t.

“Jangmi-ah… you’re scaring us.” Eungyo whispered, her hands loosely covering her mouth in shock. There was a loud silence that filled the entire gym for a brief second before Jangmi winced in invisible pain, screaming to the top of her lungs. Something was wrong with her. She tried to force her eyes opened, vision blurred by the tears welling up in her eyes as Kwangmin put both hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. She could see his mouth move, but why couldn’t she hear him? She couldn’t hear anything but an obnoxious ringing that pierced through her thoughts. For a moment, everything was horrifying enough for her to forget just who was with her. Kwangmin continued trying to coax her as the principal stepped up on the stage. With a humble authority, he pushed Kwangmin aside and bent his knees slightly to meet Jangmi face to face.

“Kim Jangmi, can you hear me right now?” He asked in a stern voice, his mouth emphasizing his words so that she could briefly read his lips. She shook her head as if she was going hysterical, and the nurse quickly fled to her side. She gently grabbed a hold of Jangmi’s arm and lifted her from the bench, escorting her off the stage and into her office. The principal was already one step ahead of them, having contacted Jangmi’s father who was now on his way to pick her up. Teachers that were viewing the performance from the sidelines ushered students out and into class early, leaving the baffled Minwoo, Eungyo, Kwangmin and Youngmin staring blankly at each other on the stage.

“Was she having a seizure or something?” Youngmin asked stupidly, reassessing the situation.

“No you idiot, she said she can’t hear.” Eungyo snorted, having zero tolerance for his obnoxious idiocy today.

“I think it was the speakers.” Kwangmin concluded, having spent the past five minutes thinking hard to himself rather than having a verbal debate with Eungyo and Youngmin.

“Oh, you’re probably right!” Minwoo agreed, nodding as he thought over Kwangmin’s reasonable hypothesis. All eyes turned to Kwangmin and Minwoo, the two science-revolved minds for an explanation.

“The high frequency from the microphone’s signaling to the large speakers along with Jangmi’s insanely close proximity to them as opposed to everyone else in this room would be more than likely to be the source of her disabled hearing.” Kwangmin educated his peers, not stuttering with a word as he shed some scientific light onto the situation. Everyone else was at least five metres away from the speakers when the unpleasant sound reared its ugly head, but Jangmi was so close to them that her head could basically lean on the soft cushioning that filtered noise for the speakers.

“The question is; is her disability temporary or permanent? This is difficult for a professional to determine. It’s like predicting when a patient will wake up from a coma—or if they ever will.” Minwoo added, bringing back the worried emotions that had been shortly cast aside during their brief enlightenment.

By the time the gang entered the nurses’ office Jangmi’s father had already taken her away. They wanted to know all that they could, but the nurse wasn’t knowledgable enough to give them a clear diagnosis. Jangmi was not heading to the hospital, and what happened after would be a mystery. Youngmin listened to the nurse’s descriptions and details with a spiteful heart, thinking only of how having a deaf girlfriend would bring down his own image. It didn’t matter though, because he had no intentions of dating a handicap. Her abrupt seizure-like behavior during the lunch hour was already embarrassing enough to him.

~~~

“Can you hear me now?” The doctor sat smugly in his overly comfy office chair, separated from his patients by a rectangular desk with his computer to the side. The papers on his desk looked disorganized, as if a tornado had paid his office a visit but to him, it didn’t matter because he knew exactly where everything was.

“…Yes,” Jangmi answered, surprised that she didn’t have to struggle to read his lips to understand what he wanted to know from her. His dad sat worriedly beside her, hands gripping tightly on the arm rest as they waited for a definite diagnosis.

“So, I’m fine right?” Jangmi asked, hoping to hear a yes before she got her hopes too high. Right now it she felt perfectly normal, as if nothing that happened at noon time ever did but it was too random and unexpected to just be passed as nothing. She recalled the heavy screeching from earlier, making her cringe and hug herself as if a million nails were running down an old chalkboard.

“At the moment, yes, but the symptoms you experienced earlier will periodically come back. There’s no way of determining when.” The doctor informed, pushing up his thick framed glasses as he typed something out on his computer. They had taken an x-ray of her ear and pulled it out onto the big overhead screen for her to see.

“What kind of trash are you spouting? How can she be sick she’s perfectly fine right now!” Jangmi’s father protested, slamming a shaky hand on the desk, compressing the loose leafs together on the hard surface.

“This sort of disability exists, Mr. Kim,” The doctor insisted, probably enjoying the fact that he didn’t have to diagnose anyone with cancer or Alzheimer’s and deal with another family member in denial to that extent, “It’s called tinnitus.”

“I’ve never heard of anything as bizarre as this.” Her father continued to deny that his only daughter was now suffering a lifelong handicap. He had such big plans for her future. He planned for her to marry a successful business entrepreneur and graduate as a talented translator. Every class she took involved language, and without hearing how could this future be possible for her? What family in the right mind would marry their well off son to a hearing disabled young lady? He was too frustrated to accept it.

“It’s surprising that you haven’t. In this generation’s increased noise exposure, tinnitus has become one of the fastest growing disabilities among all age groups.” The doctor planted some statistics flat in his face. The truth was hard to deny.

“Your case however is not severe though your first encounter with its symptoms had been more than the usual outburst from a tinnitus patient. At this point, it’s possible that your tinnitus may be only temporary but we can never be completely sure.” He tried to comfort Jangmi’s frustrated mind with words of truth. As a doctor, he swore to say only the truth, whether it hurt or not. Jangmi was a young, prominent girl with her own level of intelligence, aimed to be a high school graduate at only seventeen. All this in consideration, anyone would feel pitiful towards her.

“I’ll prescribe these pills to you. They don’t make tinnitus disappear but they do stop the symptoms from getting worse. Take them twice a day.” He slid a sloppy piece of paper with the medicine’s name decorated with his signature. Jangmi took the note and thanked him, having to drag her dad out of the office herself. He still couldn’t grasp the reality that his daughter was hearing disabled.

“How about a hearing aid?” He suggested as they headed towards the pharmacy just conveniently outside the hospital. She rolled her eyes.

“He already said they’re not going to help with this.” She reminded, walking faster to the pharmacy. It had been two hours since the first sign of tinnitus and she didn’t know when it would strike again. Would it be every few hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? She sighed, knowing it was a question she should’ve asked when they were still at the doctor’s office. Now she was left wondering until she got her hands on some internet access. Her old pal Google would help her out.

They sat patiently in the waiting area, already passing a pharmacist the doctor’s note. Jangmi herself couldn’t read the words he scribbled, having problems differentiating between his “G’s” and “Y’s” in a medical brand name that she had never seen. Her lifetime spent studying different languages did not equip her with the ability to read past the stereotypical doctor’s messy script. She allowed her mind to drift, her eyes darting from the conventional drugs off the shelf to the files kept in neat portfolios behind the counter. Her cell phone sat snuggly in her palms as she wondered why Youngmin had never called or texted her.

~~~

“We should all go visit Jangmi at her house.” Eungyo suggested. The four of them unanimously agreed to skip afternoon classes after what had happened to their dear friend. Still unsure of what was going on with her; Jangmi’s dad had called Kwangmin to let them know she wasn’t going to be staying at the hospital. With no other details he hung up. Everyone thought it weird for her dad to call Kwangmin rather than his twin—her boyfriend, but the obvious favouritism had been accumulated throughout a lifetime of mistakes and make-ups. Jangmi’s dad always favoured Kwangmin over his mischievous identical half.

“It would be weird since I don’t know her well.” Minwoo admitted, facing the reality that he really didn’t know any of them too well other than Youngmin who he was no longer in good terms with.

“I’m sure she’d appreciate your visit.” Eungyo insisted, growing attached to Minwoo’s constant company. To know that he was always somewhere near was a warming thought that started to grow on her, but she wasn’t at the stage where she wanted to admit to any rash emotions.

“Yea, we’d be happy if you came along Minwoo.” Kwangmin invited, shooting Youngmin a glance. They all expected him to come along and never bothered asking. Instead, they headed down the sidewalk towards their familiar street. Kwangmin lead the way with Minwoo and Eungyo side by side trailing close behind. Youngmin was lagging along, and Eungyo noticed how dazed he was.

“What’s up with you?” She managed to choke out. Her tone made it sound like a question out of spite rather than concern, and she never made an effort to clarify how she wanted her question to be interpreted.

“You guys go on ahead. I don’t think I’m going to visit.” Youngmin concluded, pivoting his left foot in 180 degrees and turning around back towards the school.

“So you’re saying that even though your girlfriend is sitting at home fighting the reality that she now has a hearing disability, you’re not going to make even the slightest effort to help her cope with it?” Eungyo demanded, her fists clenching as she grew angrier. The moment they first met she knew he was nothing but a jerk but this proved that he didn’t even have a heart. He never answered. Instead, he pulled out his cell phone and pushed on a few buttons. He was really testing Eungyo’s patience. Despite the obvious tension all afternoon, Minwoo made the effort to walk up to Youngmin and meet him at eye level.

“She’s your girlfriend. It’s the least you could do.” Minwoo said nonchalantly, still finding it hard to believe that he had put their friendship above so many others’ well being all these years. In the end their friendship amounted to nothing.

“You mean my ex.” Youngmin announced in a serious tone, his stare was shameless as he stood straight with his chin up. His left arm held up his cell phone showing the text message he had just sent Jangmi only seconds ago.

“You bastard,” Minwoo cussed, sending Youngmin a punch dead in the jaw. He lost grip of his cell phone and it fell screen down onto a small rock, creating a noticeable crack over the words “It’s over” on his screen.

“Let him do what he wants.” Eungyo sighed, putting a comforting hand on minwoo’s shoulder that had grown tensed after his assault. Minwoo relaxed his shoulders and then nodded, giving Youngmin one last despicable glare before turning away. Now not only did they have to coax Jangmi with her hearing problems, but they had to help her get over her first short lived relationship. Somehow Eungyo had to admit she saw this coming from a mile away. They never spared Youngmin another glance and continued on their way until they reached Jangmi’s house. The feel was different to Kwangmin than the first time he visited, walking her to school on the first day. He took the lead, pushing on the glowing door bell with the other two positioned worriedly at the front steps. Jangmi’s dad opened the door almost immediately and let the three of them in, showing them to her room. He wasn’t in the mood to talk much; he just wanted some quiet time to let everything sink in. Eungyo walked first to her room and saw that the door was locked tight after a quick nudge on the doorknob. With a gentle knock, Jangmi answered,

“Yes, Appa?” Eungyo was flustered. Wasn’t Jangmi deaf? How did she hear the soft knocking?

“It’s Eungyo,” She replied, and Jangmi unlocked the door right away. She was surprised to see Minwoo and Kwangmin here with her, but happy that they came to visit. She didn’t need an explanation as to why Youngmin was absent, and she wasn’t in the mood to talk about him.

“You… can hear now?” Eungyo asked, carefully mouthing her words in case her assumption was wrong. Jangmi nodded in response, earning relieved sighs from the guys.

“So you’re okay?” Minwoo asked for another confirmation. If she were then Youngmin would probably only regret his hasty actions later on.

“For now, I guess.” Jangmi smiled; her cell phone still in his hands. Eungyo watched her carefully, seeing her content expression with no signs of previous crying. Did she not check her text messages?

“What do you mean for now?” Kwangmin asked, already having the diagnosis in his head. He had been contemplating the possibilities of her being completely deaf or not and the severity of her handicap all afternoon.

“I have tinnitus.” She shyly admitted, turning away. She didn’t want to be seen this weak and helpless. She didn’t want people to pity her but now that she was like this it was hard to avoid.

“Tin, what?” Eungyo asked, knowing that probably everyone in the room knew but her. She didn’t specialize in Science so she didn’t take her stupidity to heart.

“It’s a form of periodic hearing loss. Patients will tend to hear different unpleasant sounds such as loud ringing or screeching during those times.” Minwoo explained in a brief nutshell for her. She nodded, turning her attention back to Jangmi. In all honesty she looked perfectly fine right now. Who would ever guess that she had tinnitus?

“Is it permanent?” Kwangmin asked, trying to dig out every detail he could. Out of the three, he was clearly the most worked up about this. Jangmi could only shrug,

“They can’t tell for sure.” Kwangmin’s questioning reminded her of the questions she had earlier on her way to the pharmacy. She glanced over to her closed MacBook on her desk and debated whether she should find her answers now or wait until her guests leave so that they wouldn’t worry.

“So the symptoms only came once so far?” Kwangmin continued; keeping the thoughts and puzzle pieces he was putting together in his head quiet from the rest. No one ever remembered Kwangmin expressing interest in becoming a doctor or even entering the medical field but there would be no doubt that if he did he would succeed with ease. Jangmi nodded, the fear of not knowing when they’ll come back creeping up her spine slowly. The screeching and ringing was by far the most unbearable sound she ever heard, and she remembered during that time she hated it enough to want to die.

“Jangmi, did you ever check your cell phone?” Eungyo suspiciously questioned; almost certain that she hadn’t done so because if she had known Youngmin broke up with her, there was no way she could be speaking so calmly right now. She fiddled with her cell phone’s dangling charms for a brief moment before sighing,

“I did.” Eungyo had confirmed it; Jangmi knew. Minwoo was just as curious as to why she wasn’t bawling her eyes out. He suspected that she probably already had given up hope in him after the amusement park incident. Either that or she was trying too hard to be head strong and holding it in to let it out after they all left. He remembered Eungyo expressing her desire to be cupid for Kwangmin and Jangmi and decided to help out. Maybe this was a good time for them to open up to each other. Minwoo admitted he didn’t know too much about women except for the fact that most of them liked things that smelt nice and tasted sweet, but he knew that girls tend to fall for guys who are there for them when they’re at their limits. He didn’t know Jangmi too well either, but he would take a guess that she was probably dying to shed some tears.

“I’m sorry Jangmi, I have to leave now.” Minwoo bowed politely, turning towards the door without giving an explanation. He didn’t need one, because he knew she wouldn’t ask. Eungyo, still feeling attached reported that she would see him out and the two of them slipped out of the room. When they got to the front door, they saw that her father had fallen asleep on the sofa with the television running.

“Eungyo, let’s let those two be together for a while.” Minwoo suggested in a quiet whisper. Because the house was dead silent, he felt the need to keep his voice down.

“Oh, that’s a great idea.” Eungyo agreed, nodding at Minwoo before she headed back to the door of the room.

“I have to go home to prepare dinner for my grandparents before they get restless. Mianhae, Jangmi.” Eungyo called in her regular indoor voice and then glanced out the living room window, “It looks like a real rainstorm’s coming soon so I’ll have to rush. I’ll come visit you again soon.” The house was quiet enough for her voice to travel effortlessly through the door.

“Gomawo, Eungyo.” Jangmi answered back, smiling even though Eungyo could not see her face right now. Eungyo then scurried back to the front door and slipped on her shoes. Minwoo was already outside waiting for her outside in the wind and cold. That morning’s sky wasn’t super clear but no one had expected the weather to change so drastically in about six hours. Storm clouds overruled the scarce patches of blue above, invading and dominating their space rapidly enough for human eyes to see that the clouds were moving fast. The wind itself was accelerating and after seeing goose bumps form on her arms, she ran to Minwoo’s side and they sprinted towards the closest bus stop. It was strange that they never noticed how close they lived to each other. By the time the bus came the rain had begun falling, starting out gentle and then picking up speed as the wind pushed it in every direction. This rainstorm was going to be a violent one for sure.

~~~

The moment the two left together, an awkward silence filled the room. Jangmi couldn’t help but look away to avoid the tension, her eyes gazing through her window. The outside was stained with raindrops, violently attacking it and the wind whistled spookily in a tone loud enough to travel into her room. Though the heater was on, she couldn’t help but let an involuntary shiver slide. Her attention was brought back to Kwangmin when he coughed, clearing his throat to speak. It was a habit—or more like a necessity—to always clear his throat before beginning a sentence because he would spend such a long time not saying a word that phlegm would build up to clog his vocal chords.

“Gwaenchanah?” He asked a short and sweet question, one simple phrase that held so much more meaning. When he asked if she was okay, he didn’t mean whether she was okay just for the moment. It was a silent call from him to know exactly what has been going on in her mind, and though he and she both knew he was bad at advice giving, he would always listen. Slowly dropping her defensive barrier, the two of them sat relatively close to each other on her bed as she shook her head.

“Ani, neomu museopda.” She muttered, expressing her fear that she had been trying to push away. No matter how strong she wanted people to see her, she herself knew how vulnerable she was. To her, everything had become terrifying. Every passing minute, now knowing when the deafening sounds would return she could only worry, wishing for them to come sooner so that she could know she was safe from them for a few more minutes after before she would start worrying again. The thought of living the rest of her life like this in fear was agonizing. She didn’t need to explain it to Kwangmin; he was always quick to understand her heart. Socializing wasn’t his forte, and he had terrible people skills but when it came to things he was good at, other than science there was only understanding Jangmi’s heart. Perhaps it was because she was the only person he ever cared enough to try to comprehend.

“Are you sad?” Kwangmin asked, expecting her to be able to interpret his very broad question. She knew he was asking about Youngmin. She expected it to happen, but her heart told herself to hold on. Only now did she realize how stupid she was, and because of her stupidity she became like this. She wanted to punish herself for being so arrogant, but thinking and regretting like this would only drive her into a deeper depression. She did not want to be clinically depressed.

“How can I not be?” She rhetorically uttered. Her hands rested casually on her lap as she stared down at the floorboards unable to find the courage to look at Kwangmin’s face. Kwangmin stared at her left hand, palm facing upwards. It was the most perfect opportunity to grab her hands and tell her it was going to be okay, but he couldn’t find the boldness or the courage to. Evidently, he let the opportunity pass unnoticed when she crossed her fingers together.

“Gomawo, Kwangmin-ah,” Jangmi suddenly thanked out of the blue. Her abrupt expression of gratitude caught Kwangmin by surprised.

“Waeyo?” He asked, not sure why he suddenly started talking so formally. She finally decided to stare him in the eyes as she smiled,

“For not saying things like ‘I told you so’ and for just… listening.” Jangmi explained with a weak laugh. The more she thought about Youngmin the more she wanted to discipline herself, but it wasn’t easy to just kick him out of her mind.

“Jangmi-ah,” Kwangmin smiled back, a genuine smile that he finally managed to form on his face after so many years of being closed to people and society. It had also been quite a while since she heard him call her name, and the way her name slid past his lips like liquid caught her ears.

“You know I’ll always be here to listen,” He reminded her as his mind flashed back to their childish memories from eight years ago, “Because whether we’re it was nine years ago or now, I still like you the most.” The last words that escaped Kwangmin’s mouth shocked even him. He had not planned for a confession, especially not in a situation like this but a part of him felt relieved and almost prideful that he had said it. When he finally had the courage to make eye contact again, he saw that tears were welling up in Jangmi’s eyes, one droplet slowly gliding down her blushing cheeks. He honestly couldn’t tell whether she was blushing or just red from crying. Before he could think of anything else to say, Jangmi pulled him in for a gentle but lasting hug, her cheeks rubbed against his shoulders as her tears formed moist patches on his shirt. Her arms gripped together against his back, locking him in her embrace. Though he couldn’t get his hopes up knowing that she had never thought of him more than a friend, he hesitantly raised his arms to pat her gently on the back. Even though he couldn’t say much to comfort her, he would always be around to just listen.

“Why is she at school?” Hyewon muttered loudly with disgust to Chanmi who stood uncaringly by her locker. Chanmi glanced over her shoulder to see Jangmi walking into the school, folding a rain soaked umbrella with Kwangmin close behind her, his hair completely drenched.

“Why can’t she be?” Chanmi asked. Though she was there to witness what happened on stage she never thought that it would amount to anything serious. But that was just who she was, she always thought too little of things and never took anything too seriously—especially if it didn’t involve her.

“I hear Youngmin Oppa is single again,” Hyewon continued to ramble. It was strange how after getting publically rejected twice she still had the courage to cling onto him. Chanmi had been rejected only once and that was enough to throw her into an anti social black hole. She had no intentions of trying again, so she didn’t want to know whether Youngmin was single or not. Jangmi passed Hyewon without even so little as a sideways glance, running hurriedly to her English class. Kwangmin and Jangmi split into separate hallways, him heading to the biology room.

“Yah, I thought she was deaf. Why is she at school?” Donghyun ignorantly mused. He was sitting on top of a desk at the back of the classroom with Youngmin and the others. Their group looked significantly smaller now that Minwoo backed out, though he was also present in class. Donghyun never bothered to keep his voice down with the fear of her overhearing because from what he knew, she couldn’t hear at all.

“Ignore him,” Minwoo sighed, trying his best not to look backwards to meet the gaze of people he once called friends. He wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t even know what a friend was. Their posy was the exact opposite of the definition of friends. Jangmi smiled, greeting Minwoo and took her seat beside him with her binder out and ready.

“Did you do the homework?” Jangmi asked, trying to start a conversation. Now that Jangmi had a clearer understanding of Minwoo’s personality she didn’t mind opening up to him. He was a good guy and she had no problems acknowledging that.

“Nah, I was busy yesterday; had stuff to tend to after visiting you.” He replied, blankly staring at his untouched notebook. There was not even a doodle on the pages. In truth, after visiting Jangmi ne and Eungyo ended up taking the wrong bus which took them to the opposite end of the Han River. From where they were let off, the sun was shining relatively brightly, though they were not quite sure where they were. Eungyo concluded that if they just walked along the riverbanks eventually they would get back to their neighborhood, and so they did—not that he would’ve done his English homework even if he had the time. Science was his calling. The fact that he was in this class was a mistake on his counselor’s part.

“Were you okay after we left?” It was Minwoo’s turn to continue the conversation. Jangmi flashed back to the intimate hug they had in her room that night. The sound of thunder roaring threateningly outside made her only cling closer towards him, and though it was cowardly of her to hide her face in his chest she hated loud noises. She was always a quiet person, which explains why she freaked out during her tinnitus’ first appearance.

“Yea,” She answered simply, not wanting to go into details of how her father woke up from the loud thunder and walked in on their little session in her room. Kwangmin left soon after, and she was surprised her father never asked any questions. He was just happy to see his daughter smiling. Youngmin watched the two enviously as they talked to each other. It just didn’t make sense to him. Like Donghyun said, wasn’t she supposed to be deaf? Jangmi was now sitting a few seats in front of him, scribbling in notes and chit chatting with his ex-best friend casually as if nothing had ever happened. Feeling slightly regretful, he turned his gaze back to the white board and tried his best to push unnecessary thoughts out of his head.

~~~

At lunch time, the “loner” table that Kwangmin inhabited was no longer secluded in the school. He had Minwoo, Eungyo and Jangmi to thank for that. Everyone noticed that Kwangmin had more confidence when he spoke of things unrelated to science, and that he would initiate eye contact more freely than he usually would. Each day that passed he would become a tad more talkative, and the gray taunting clouds would slowly fade away. Though Kwangmin was only comfortable being open to those three specific people, he was surprised how much he changed ever since Jangmi’s accident. A few weeks passed and she had yet to experience the second encounter of tinnitus. Everyone assumed her case must’ve been very minor.

“We should all go to the amusement park today after school. It seems like we might have a good chance with the weather and we can get discounted ice cream.” Eungyo winked at Minwoo, knowing that he worked at the Dip N’ Dots stand at the amusement park. There was a unanimous agreement, and so they all met up after school at the bus stop. Jangmi was standing happily beside Kwangmin when she caught a glimpse of Youngmin’s bright blonde hair in the blazing sunlight. It was gloomy this morning, but now in the afternoon the sun had finally become strong enough to show itself, though there were still storm clouds that lurked about. He turned around and exchanged glances with her. It had been weeks since they spoke, in fact, they had never said a word to each other ever since the break up. She wasn’t expecting an apology; she only wanted him to know that the way he was living was wrong. She knew she could never have the heart to despise Youngmin, but if he never changed there was no way she would be okay with being around him again. The fact is that he hurt her in a way she never thought he would, and seventeen years of history wasn’t enough to let it slide by. Before she looked away, she let their eye contact linger for an extra two seconds. His eyes were slightly sorrowful, his expression filled with disappointment and regret. If he actually felt those emotions then at least people would know he was human.

~~~

At the amusement park, despite the bipolar weather every ride was overflowing with long line ups. There were so many lively children running about, bringing energy into an otherwise dead ghost town. Eungyo spotted the Dip N’ Dots stand and let her sweet tooth take over, pulling Minwoo along with her. Kwangmin and Jangmi had suspected long ago that they had something going on, though they never made it official yet. During the passing days, Kwangmin noticed how much more time he was spending with Jangmi as opposed to his biology notes, but he still didn’t want to bring his hopes up. Even if it happened nine years ago, he was scared that she would leave again, leaving him broken, empty and abandoned. Kwangmin had blanked out for a few seconds, forgetting to check whether Jangmi was following him or not. Turning back, he was alarmed to see that she wasn’t around. Instead, there was a growing crowd of strangers forming a circle a few metres behind where he had walked. As he pushed his way to the centre he heard the loud gossips of people wondering what was going on. When he could finally see past the shoulders of bystanders, he gasped.

“Jangmi!” He called out, running to her side immediately as he held her up to avoid a hard collision with the cement floor. His right hand gripped her shoulder, allowing her head to lean against him. Her screaming stopped soon after, but her eyes were squeezed shut as her teeth gritted together.

“What’s wrong with her?” One stranger asked, plopping a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Did her water break?” Another more punkish looking teenager joked, high fiving his mischievous accomplice beside him.

“Kwangmin! Jangmi!” Eungyo shouted, breaking through the crowd in less than two seconds and joining them in the centre. Minwoo was trying his best to send the crowd away. Jangmi did not want all this attention. When she finally forced her eyes opened, she could only see Kwangmin’s face, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to get her attention. She guessed that he was shouting her name; Kim Jangmi, but she had never practiced reading lips before so she wasn’t sure.

“Geumanhae, Kwangmin. She can’t hear you right now.” Minwoo reminded, holding up his paper bowl of ice cream to her forehead to cool her down. Beads of sweat were dripping down her neck. Kwangmin stopped yelling immediately, still unsure of what to do. This was the second occurrence, happening approximately two weeks after the first. The gaps were relatively long for a tinnitus patient but her reactions to them were the most severe. When Kwangmin tried to stand up, he tumbled back downwards, his hands slipping so that Jangmi’s head made light but noticeable contact with the ground. His left ankle had been sprained in the anxiety of this mess and now Jangmi was unconscious. It would be bad to try to bring her to a hospital via the bus, but they had no one to rely on. Feeling desperate, Kwangmin ordered,

“Minwoo, you have to call Youngmin.” Their mom was having an outing with her ‘gal pals’ and left the car and the car keys. Though both twins were licensed, it was evident only Youngmin could help them out right now. Without arguing, Minwoo dialed, listening to the ringing three times before it was answered.

“What do you—“

“Youngmin this is no time to be stubborn. We need you to take your moms car to the amusement park and bring Jangmi to the hospital.” Minwoo explained, speaking as fast as he can. Everyone was heating up with anxiety, and Eungyo was trying to hold Jangmi up with her arm over her shoulder. Kwangmin was still a temporary cripple which did little to ease the situation.

“But—“

“Hurry! She’s unconscious!” Minwoo urged, immediately ending the call. There was no way he wouldn’t come, right? The others weren’t sure but right now Youngmin was their only hope. Thankfully the amusement park was not too far from the hospital. Eungyo and Minwoo helped to bring Jangmi to the front gates while Kwangmin lagged behind, limping his way to the bench by the gate. He cursed himself for not staying in shape ever since phys ed. stopped being a requirement in school. The three waited anxiously, staring out into the parking lot not sure whether Youngmin would actually show up, but they had no room for doubt to fill in. Fifteen minutes after ending the call, their mom’s silver corolla pulled up in the parking lot, the parallel parking a bit awkward from Youngmin’s inexperienced steering. Minwoo and Eungyo quickly brought Jangmi over and hoisted her in the middle of the back seat, allowing Kwangmin to ride shot gun.

He illegally sped down the roads to the hospital where they had more help getting Jangmi up. While she was being checked over by a doctor, the four of them sat in the waiting area hoping that she was okay. Kwangmin wuld never live it down if he knew he was responsible for giving her a concussion, along with her tinnitus. In fact, the injury might just make her tinnitus worse. He was beating himself up for it in his head.

“Calm down, Kwangmin,” Minwoo insisted, hanging him an ice pack he picked up from a passing nurse. The area around the sprain on his ankles was swelling and red and the ice really helped him to calm down. Youngmin sat on the bench opposite of the other three, feeling like he didn’t belong. He rarely felt this way, but after what happened those weeks ago he didn’t feel so confident in himself anymore. He could only think that the tinnitus was his fault, and that was something that haunted him enough to keep his distance from her.

“She was an idiot for liking me.” Youngmin admitted, barely loud enough for them to hear but they did. Minwoo never expected something like that to come from such a jerk, but maybe the weeks he had to reflect really did do something for him.

“No kidding,” Eungyo snarled, still feeling impatient with him. Once a jerk always a jerk—that was her policy. He rolled his eyes, turning away. He was in no mood for Eungyo’s attitude, but Kwangmin wasn’t so willing for a topic change.

“After all this time I still don’t understand why you harassed her like that.” Kwangmin accusingly voiced, putting the ice pack on the floor and slipping his sock back on. When he thought about it, everything Youngmin did was just stupid and unnecessary.

“Tch, nado molla.” Youngmin inferred, sensing the sibling tension grow between them. Why had they never gotten along? Why did it always have to feel like even though they were identical twins, they were different and opposite in everything they said and did. Youngmin had no problems admitting that Kwangmin was the angel, the intelligent smart child that everyone loved, but it still bothered him. He hated being so undermined, knowing that his twin was better than him before they were even old enough to prove anything of themselves, and feeling the need to draw some attention to turned into this overrated jerk wad. He didn’t want to admit that envy was the source of how he became so spoiled, but he could come up with no other solution.

“It sucks, that it takes something like tinnitus to make me realize how inhumane I was.” Youngmin sighed, covering his face with both palms in embarrassment. He was the one that did this to her—his first love, and he had no idea how to make it up to her. All the thoughts of revenge in him disappeared. All he wanted was to see Jangmi smile again. He wanted her to forgive him, but something like that was easier said than done. He knew she didn’t expect an apology. He also knew that Kwangmin had been waiting for her for over eight years. If he had any heart for his brother he would not be ignorant enough to steal her away again—not that he could.

When the door opened, Jangmi was the first to step out with the doctor following. She immediately headed over to Kwangmin who impulsively gave her a hug. It was so unlike him, but Youngmin had forgotten that he wasn’t the same old timid Kwangmin as before.

“Her collision with the ground was too gentle to have done any real damage. Her fainting was a side effect of her medication.” The doctor explained, scribbling a note on a memo pad and handing it to Kwangmin who he thought was her boyfriend.

“Take good care of her and make sure she doesn’t get too much sunlight or it’s bound to happen again.” He gave his final warning and then left back to his office. The other two swarmed around her, relieved that she was okay and offered to buy her something delicious at the bakery just across. The hospital had many windows built all around, allowing natural light to give their building a warm feel. Today, despite the slight presence of the sun, there were rain clouds lingering about, occasionally covering the fiery glow of the distant star.

“Kwangmin, I’m sorry.” Youngmin apologized after debating and reflecting for about a month now. To someone who was glued to him practically 24/7 and had to put up with so much of his crap, he really owed an apology. For letting whatever it was turn their once healthy brother relationship into this, he wanted to punch himself. He considered getting Minwoo to do that later, but decided that it would be going too far.

“Shouldn’t you be apologizing to Jangmi?” Kwangmin questioned, not giving Youngmin the reaction he wanted. Youngmin shook his head, earning a glare from Kwangmin.

“I mean I do, but I have to apologize to you too.” He defended. He stood next to the window, the sun’s rays bouncing off the strands of his golden hair, making him slightly blinding to look at. A pillar had casted a shadow over Kwangmin, the usual setting for them. Kwangmin was always in the shadows while Youngmin always shone brightly, earning the attention and praise of everyone he came across. Little did Kwangmin know that this was not what youngmin wanted; not anymore.

“Why?” Kwangmin mused, curious as to what epiphany his punk brother had. He glanced past Youngmin to see that the rain clouds caused a gentle rain shower outside. This was a rare occurrence—to have the sunshine and rain out at the same time. In their entire seventeen years of living, they had only come across a date like this once before when they were younger. This was back before Jangmi came into their lives and back before they were old enough to care what anyone thought of them. All they wanted was to play carelessly, shooting each other with water guns like the foolish seven year olds they were. That was probably when their relationship was the strongest, when they both took the blame for everything they did, when they stood up for each other even though they had little understanding of what justice was, when they laughed together at the silliest things. As they grew up they started becoming different; polar opposites. Ever since then the sun and rain and never crossed paths, like how Kwangmin always buried himself away when Youngmin and his friends were around. Youngmin smiled, answering his question with a metaphor familiar to both of them,

“Because I know that it’s not impossible for the sun and the rain to coexist in harmony.”